Remember what you're fighting for

  Well I started this week with my new coached training plan by Mark Kleanthous. He somehow managed to understand my shift pattern straight away and worked a fortnights plan for me around my 12 hour shifts. I was working the early shift this week 7am-7pm with only one day off on Wednesday as I was doing overtime. My first session on Monday included a run during lunch and then a tough Wattbike session after work. I knew that as the explanation of this session almost filled an A4 page it was going to be hard. I had my Jackoatbar for a much needed energy boost for my session and got on with it. I was not wrong - I may have only been on there for half an hour but I'm sure it was the hardest 30 minute session I have ever done and by the end I looked like I had jumped in a swimming pool fully clothed! There was 10 minute cool down either side of my main set which was 20minutes, yet just in the in main set I exceeded my PB distance on the Wattbike - this just proves what a well planned session can do. I also wrote down all my results such as my RPM, Cadence, Distance, Wattage and Heartrate for Mark to be able to work his magic and also to use as benchmarks to track my future progress. 

 On Tuesday I did a 45 minute treadmill run with, wait for it...with NO PAIN! This was probably the first long run I had done for over a month and a true sign that my physio work really is making a huge improvement. After work I went spinning and then had a swim session planned. During spinning I began to feel a little bit of cramp in my left calf - during a sprint it actually stopped me however I stretched it out and carried on. By the end of spinning I was exhausted but knew I could not deviate from my plan. So I went swimming. As soon as I got in the pool my left calf through to my foot was cramping - I had to try and get to the end of the pool by what can only be described as single arm doggy paddle while with my other hand I gripped my foot in pain. Again, after some massaging and stretching it had gone away and I got on with my main set. This was 7 x 200m (8 lengths) sets with the aim to get faster each time. My best that day was 3m35 - averaging 26secs per length and in the middle had a slump of 3m40 (but on that set I was held up by others in the lane who were doing breast stroke - I mean COME ON - you do not do that in the fast lane of a pool, rant over). When I finished my session I was pleased I had completed a structured swim session on my own. Normally I just slog out 100 lengths (sometimes more) and then get out - monotenous and boring and also questionable as to what good and improvement I actually gain. So I had completed my session and it was time to get out. Only problem was when I tried to jump out a crippling cramp shot all through my left leg and forced me back in the pool. I embarrasingly attempted to get out of the pool at least 10 times but each time was forced back in. I have no idea what I must've looked like to the lifeguard and few swimmers left but I can imagine it looked like something a 'Chuckle Brothers' sketch; "To me - to you" = "In - out, In - out". I did eventually manage to haul myself out the pool and limped towards the changing rooms feeling somewhat bashful, but also laughing at the scene I just created. If these little moments make me smile then I suppose I'm in the right sport. When I got home I wrote some more notes on my plan, again writing down my heartrate during spinning, my pace when running, speed of my swim sets and questioning why I got cramp. Was it a lack of nutrition? I had only consumed 1850 calories that day with a estimated calorie loss of 900 (this estimation is not generous). However, after speaking to Jane, a cycle and swim coach and my cycle buddy, during a 2 hour turbo session the following day (we decided to stay inside as the weather has made the roads awful and hitting a pothole now could mess my season up completely) she assured me that nutrition plays no part. The explanation that a lack of salt and water causes cramp is in fact a myth - those reasons were 'discovered' years ago where scientists found during an experiment that people who sweat more tend to get more cramp. They took this that as you sweat water and salt that is what you lack and causes cramp. However, since then there have been numerous experiments that show no correlation to this being true. In fact, the most realistic and somewhat simple explanation as to why we get cramp is in fact an increase in exercise as the lactic acid builds up. This would make sense in my case as I have begun running again after a long period of time. Since then I have also received some interesting information from Mark regarding cramp and restoring lost electrolytes from sports drinks and tablets. I also just want to point out here that I know my nutrition is not up to an athlete's calories comsumption based on my output however my plan is to continue as I am so I am able to lose more weight and get down to my ideal race weight of 10stone.

 Anyway, despite my issue of getting out of the pool I enjoyed my session and had made it aware to Mark that I will have to do more sessions like this alone as opposed to rely on the Tri Club for my tough speed base sessions. When we move to Marlow I will be that much further from the swim training in Chesham. It would be an hours commute in total (excluding all the chit chat after) which is vital time I could be training or sleeping. With that in mind I will not be cutting it out completely, I aim to get there at least once a week as Mark agrees it is beneficial to train in a group as well and moreover, I enjoy meeting my Chiltern Tri friends and chatting about all things triathlon - something I cannot do with everyone else in my life, I suppose it's like my triathlon counselling. I kept my training form up all week, following my plan religiously and fitting my training in around my 12 hour shifts - even if that did mean getting up at 4am on some occasions. On the note of getting up at 4am I have to share this video which has humoured me immensely over the last week. I may be taking the complete piss out of myself by laughing at it but I honestly have not laughed so much in a long time. I have also been told by my work friends I am like the person in the cartoon. All you other Ironman's will enjoy this too! 

I'm training for an Ironman

 I also have to use this opportunity to share this other video I have come across this week. A Twitter friend, Sophie Radcliffe, who also completed Wales last year shared a video. The first time I watched it I got goosebumps and then the second time I listened more intently and got emotional. This video really impacted on me and as corny as it sounds it was like it was referring to me. I began taking quotes from it which struck a chord with me and couldn't stop listening to it. Each time it had the same affect on me. It really envoked a fire in me. At first I picked out the quote which referred to waking up for training;

"6am and your hand can’t make it to the alarm clock before the voices in your head start telling you that it’s too early, too dark, and too cold to get out of a bed.
Aching muscles lie still in rebellion, pretending not to hear your brain commanding them to move
A legion of voices are shouting their unanimous permission for you to hit the snooze button and go back to dreamland, but you didn’t ask their opinion.
The voice you’ve chosen to listen to is one of defiance.
A voice that’s says there was a reason you set that alarm in the first place. So sit up, put your feet on the floor, and don’t look back because we’ve got work to do

For what is each day but a series of conflicts between the right way and the easy way"

 Then as I began to listen to it more I began to get it. I have been feeling increadibly daunted by the challenge I have set and increasingly worried I cannot achieve it. I'm scared of the competition and afraid of letting everyone down. All I want to do, more than anything is make Rosie proud. She is the soul reason I set out on this mission. Her passing made me want what I have always dreamed of. Crossing that line in Kona, even imagining it makes me get emotional - the journey I would've taken to get there cannot be expressed in words. I want and need it for me and I want to get there for Rose. This quote from the video touches all of these points and makes me well up every single time; (I''ve highlighted the last sentence as that is truly what the essence of this video means to me and what I need to remind myself of when things will inevitably hurt and get tougher)

"You’re in a fight against an opponent you can’t see
Oh but you can feel him on your heels can’t you?
Feel him breathing down your neck
You know what that is?
That’s you…
Your fears, your doubts and insecurities all lined up like a firing squad ready to shoot you out of the sky
But don’t lose heart
While they aren’t easily defeated, they are far from invincible
The Battle Royale between you and your mind, your body and the devil on your shoulder who’s telling you that this is just a game, this is just a waste of time, your opponents are stronger than you.
Drown out the voice of uncertainty with the sound of your own heartbeat
Burn away your self doubt with the fire that’s beneath you
REMEMBER WHAT YOU'RE FIGHTING FOR"

 The only time I deviated from my training plan this week was instead of doing an easy 45 minute run I did a tough interval session with these words as my motivation. I listened to the video over and over (around 15 times) and everytime the heavy breathing comes in (when you watch it you'll know what I'm talking about) I sped up and by the end of the video I was at a full sprint imagining myself sprinting across the line in Kona;

"And when your time comes and a thousand different voices are trying to tell you
that you’re not ready for it,
listen instead to that lone voice of descent,
that one voice that says:
“you are ready”
“you are prepared”.
It’s all up to you now!“

 I repeated these sets 15 times and for the first time ever I loved a treadmill session. I tried to express what this video meant to me to Sophie who shared it but if you didn't know then I'm sure it is pretty evident what it means to me now and cannot thank you enough for sharing it. I now listen to it every morning, so when those 4am starts get tough I have this to spur me on and remind myself of the reason I set the alarm and remember what I'm fighting for! By Wales, maybe even Lanzarote, I hope to be able to recite this so I can turn to it when I need it most. So now I'll stop talking about it and please, I urge you all to actually watch it!

Rise and Shine - Welcome to the Grind

 Despite the improvement on my knee I have decided to cut my Devon Coastal marathon on the 8th of February to a half marathon. My mum, physio and Jane agree that there is no point damaging myself when I have come so far. As much as I would love to add another marathon medal to my collection I have to stop being stubborn and understand that causing further pain to my knee could detriment my long term goal. My mum keeps reminding me that I have completed 4 marathons now and have nothing to prove to anyone by doing another. A half marathon however, will be a good way of assessing how my knee and running fitness really is. It will still be a lovely weekend in Devon with my parents and Dan even if the weather and terrain of sand, rocks and narrow coastal paths make the event even more of a challenge.

 So I have got my longest (13.5hrs) and most definitely hardest training week under my belt whilst doing my fullest week of work. Furthermore, I have also lost 4lbs since the beginning of the week. More importantly though I have got my motivation and belief (thanks to the video) and diet back on track. To top the good week I have had I also had some lovely messages from people on Twitter - this support is what keeps me going. Included in these messages I had a lovely offer. One messaged me recently explaining he was not normally a blog reader but my story had really touched him and enjoyed reading mine. We exchanged a few messages and on Friday he asked whether I had a TT (Time Trial) bike. For those who do not know the most notable difference between a TT bike and a road bike is the use of aerobars/tri bars. This is where the rider rests their forearms over the handlebars to get a more aerodynamic low tuck position therefore making them faster (well thats the idea anyway). There will also be other aerodynamic differences such the frames composite. Anyway, I explained that I did not have a TT bike as due to the hilly landscape of my chosen Ironman events a TT bike would not be beneficial, even if they are sexy looking bikes and would love to own one. However, as Kona is flat and I would benefit from one he kindly offered to lend me his Specialized Shiv Pro TT (a bloody nice bike) when I make it to Kona - of course I would also have to learn how to ride a TT bike first!). Below is a picture of it - I'm sure you'll agree I'll may well be the envy of some bike porn with that, even at the World Championships!. I wasn't quite sure how to respond except for thank him for his unbelievable kindness. 

 On a further note, I have got even closer to my fundraising target of £1000 for SUDEP Action so much so I decided to increase my target to £1500. I always personally thank the people who sponsor me and thanked an old school friend who donated. We got chatting and she informed me she was aiming to do a half Ironman in September! It's great that we have a sport in common and so nice to catch up with an old friend. Also I just want to add that I don't want the increase in my fundraising target to seem greedy but I believe I can raise that and if I am able to raise more for such an important cause which is so close to my heart then it's worth it. There really are some lovely people in the world - thank you for the support on Twitter and to all who have sponsored me.

 Now, unsuprisingly I'm off for a run - I'll update again soon!