Saturday 26 April 2014

The beginning of a great week - a PB at the Good Fri Tri

 Well this week has been an exciting one. My sister became a marathon runner (see previous post for the report) and I got a PB for a sprint distance triathlon on Good Friday. (There is another huge bit of amazing news that happened over the last week but shall save that for another blog post for that although I'm sure many of you will know what I am referring to).

 On Friday the 18th I was up early and on my way to Abingdon for my second sprint triathlon of the year. This was also organised by Try Tri Events the same company as the Andover Tri two weeks previous. I had done this triathlon before in 2010 when my goal was considerably less serious. I doubt I even had a real goal and definitely did not have a time in mind. I completed it then in 1h33 and this year wanted to cut that by 10 minutes.

 My timings were pretty tight before the race. I got to transition registered and racked quickly (moving someones bike and kit over as they had taken up two peoples space). After that it was almost instantly to pool side. I was in wave 5 so right in the middle which concerned me a little. The Andover Tri had the fastest swimmers in the first wave and without wanting to sound arrogant I thought I would be higher up than wave 5 even despite this triathlon having three times the amount of entrants than Andover. However, it turned out that the slower swimmers went first in this triathlon. It was four to a lane but the person who was due to go first (this is pre arranged by swim hat colours) didn't show so I was to go first in the lane. This was actually a good result to me as I knew then I would have no-one in front of me to get in my way. I wanted to push myself in the swim and I did just that. Maybe I went of too fast to begin with competing with the other swimmers as I began to feel sick after a tough 6 lengths of going flat out. By that point I had also caught up with the person in my lane who pushed of last but thankfully as we only had three in our lane I just tapped her foot to let her know I was there and then overtook her and pushed off the other wall without effecting mine or her swim. By this point I had a new goal - I wanted to be first out of the water. In order to do this I had to get infront of the people I started with (number 2 in each lane) and then overtake the people who pushed off 10 seconds before me. I was taking tabs as to who was in line with me with some skillful peripheral vision. As I neared the last 4 lengths of the 16 (400m) I had gained and knew I could do it. I jumped out of the water and I was first out of the pool. The guy in the lane next to me wasn't far behind and whilst running to our bikes he said "Nice swim!" (I thought so too). The run to the chip timing mat was about 30secs so I did my swim in about 6m50 - not a PB but not bad. This made me 52nd out of 270 people so not a bad statistic.
 So onto the bike. I had a 1m37s transition and then was on my way. I wanted to complete the 22km course in 45minutes. From the get go I was staring at my Garmin. I wanted to keep it around 30km/h the whole way round. At some points my legs felt like lead and on many occasions I'm sure I was scaring my other competitors with my grunts of "Come on!" that I was shouting at my legs. I was playing cat and mouse (my favourite game whilst cycling) with one bloke in particular. He would overtake me and then when there was a hill I would overtake him. This went on for the whole course and although frustrating for him I'm sure was a great bit of motivation for me. (I did finish ahead of him though - result!). Although this was motivating something during the ride was quite demotivating and yet outstanding. Whilst going up a short and sharp hill at the beginning of the second lap I heard some clunking coming from behind me. This was in fact an old touring bike and depressingly it came zooming past me and my fellow companion who at that moment in time was the mouse. It's not all about the gear! I did think to myself imagine if he actually had a road or TT bike! I saw Dan towards the end of the first lap and his face was shocked when he saw me so quick. He asked how long had I been and I shouted '21 minutes'. I completed the first lap in 22minutes so I was on my target of a 45minute finish. Including the weaving transition I finished in 47m04s which I was pleased with. This made me 119th out of the 270 competitors.
 So on to the run. I had a 26 second transition. My goal on the run was to push through the pain and push up the big hill I knew we tackled twice as it was two lap course. I wanted to keep my Garmin as close to 5min/km as I could. I was hot but plodding on. Whilst pushing up the hill for the second time a wave of nausea came over me. I didn't want to slow down so carried on through...the sick followed through too. Weirdly after doing this I felt a huge sense of relief and pride. Now, I like many who train as I do will feel the need to be sick due to effort and exertion on many occasions but actually being sick due to effort is something I have never done. I looked at my efforts (represented by the sick on the floor) for a brief second before picking the pace up again and pushing to the finish. As I rounded the track where the finish line was placed I felt the sick surfacing again and not even someone running past me could push me to sprint as I really didn't want an audience if I was sick again. I did however complete my 5km in 26m09 which for me is a banging time and one I could never have thought I could achieve even 6 months ago. My overall time was 1h23m, 10 minutes faster than my 2010 efforts, the exact result I wanted. 10 minutes cut off in 2 years not bad! I did not come in the top three women overall but that was due to the amount and caliber of athletes there was that day. I did however come 17th out of the 88 women and 3rd in my age group so still top three on one level. Furthermore I also beat a Sky News sports correspondent that I thought I recognised at the start - chicked! 😉

 I left feeling relieved and happy - the first time I felt like that after an event for a while. I sat and admired my medal which is awesomely designed - another shiney to add to my ever growing collection. I even justified having a little of the Easter Egg I was given at the finish in the car on the way home. Another great event, thanks Try Tri! Since then I have had a donation to my justgiving page saying they saw my very distinctive tri suit and since read my story - I can't find your email to personally but if you are reading Thank You!

Easter Egg Medal




Sunday 20 April 2014

The day my sister became a marathon runner

 On Sunday the 13th of April I saw my sister become a marathon runner. Although I was not running it here is my emotional race report of the amazing day.

 So I shall start at the very beginning. On the Saturday after work I traveled up to London with Dan. We were staying over the night before as Emma had asked me to be with her at the start. We ended up in a very posh hotel (The Rosewood in Holborn) as the one we were due to be staying at (the same one as Emma and Des) could no longer fulfill our booking. The hotel had a Savoy type feel to it and definitely not one we could afford to fork out for alone at £500 per night, but it was a lovely treat even if we were only there for a few hours! After literally dropping our bags off in the room we were out the door again to meet Emma, Des and another couple for dinner. Obviously as it was the night before a marathon it was essential to go to an Italian for some much needed pasta carb loading. Emma never has been a big eater and I was forcing her to continue eating even when she exclaimed she was full. The meal was lovely - we chatted and laughed so much we were in tears.

Sam, Emma and me
 I was still organising where Emma's supporters would go so was on the phone a fair bit trying to make my instructions clear to them as well as let Emma know where we will be. I began getting so nervous for her, I knew full well the heightened emotions and nerves that flow through you before big events. We left Emma by her hotel at Liverpool Street around 10.30pm so was later than I had expected but it shows how quick time goes when having fun. That said Emma needed to get to sleep, something she was worried she may struggle to do knowing the importance of the day after. I gave her a huge hug and Dan and I got back on the tube to our fancy hotel.

 I had everything laid out for the morning as I was planning an early start. I wanted to be at Emma's hotel for 8am and leaving to get to the start in Greenwich at 8.30am. When my alarm went off I was straight up. I showered and put my 'Go Emma' tshirt on. I had organised to have these made for everyone who wanted to support Emma and some of the proceeds go to the charity Emma was raising money for, Young Epilepsy. I ended up ordering 62 of them! (It was meant to be a huge secret until the night before but someone gave the game up beforehand. Even so the pictures of people in them showing their support started to pour in on messages and on Facebook and I hope that gave Emma a boost).

The tshirts I had made in support of Emma
 So with my tshirt on I took a selfie of me in it to express the support and pride I felt for my sister. I wrote, "Good luck my beautiful brave sister at the London Marathon today! Here's my selfie of my tshirt wishing you luck! Just on my way to see you now and escort you to the start. I know full well the nerves that you will be feeling right now but know you will be amazing. You have trained so hard and endured so much pain and I am so unbelievably proud of you. Rosie will be with you ALL the way xxx". I knew that a 'crash' (my emotional low) was due as I hadn't had one for a while and was quiet and reserved on the lead up to this day (I'm sure Dan noticed this). I also hadn't let many tears flow for a while. I therefore knew this day was going to be an emotional one. I wore my tshirt with such pride whilst on the tube and refused to put a jumper over the top of it even though I was slightly chilly. Dan had been sick during the night and felt rough so he didn't join me to Emma's hotel but vowed if he did feel better he would catch up with me. I was not letting anything spoil this day and after breakfast went alone.


 I got to Emma's hotel as planned at 8am. I needed to do a small minor adjustment to the tshirt I had made Emma so got an iron delivered to her room. Emma seemed pretty relaxed and calm, although that was nearly ruined when she couldn't find her socks! I strapped her knee and ankle up with some Kinesio tape and then revealed the vest I had personalised for her to wear. She seemed to love it and will use it for future events so I was pleased. It was then time to take a picture of her beforehand for memories sake and to let her supporters know what she was wearing so it was easier to look out for her. Lee then arrived, Emma's running partner who had also got a charity place in memory of Rose. I was so gutted I was not running alongside them but was still looking forward to seeing Emma complete her challenge.









































 Dan made it to Emma's hotel in the end and we were a tad late leaving at 8.45am but managed to make it to the start just before the entrance closed. We also managed to get a few more pictures in Greenwich Park. Saying goodbye to Emma was tough and the first tears of the day began to fall. I wished them both good luck - they were on their way! The sun was already out and continued to shine throughout the day. Rosie was shining down from the start.

Before the race in Greenwich Park


Emma and I before our emotional goodbye
 Dan being a seasoned London Marathon spectator due to my previous exploits had a plan. We went to mile 6 and saw them come past bang on time around 11.15am (1hr into the event). I had told Emma and Lee that many get carried away with the excitement of such an event and push the pace too early only to struggle later on. I have done this in the past and have since learnt from my mistake and although Lee is a faster runner swore to keep to Emma's maintainable and consistent pace of 10 minute miles. This would see them finishing in 4h30 (Emma's desired finish time). So I was over the moon when I worked out they were bang on their desired pacing. I literally blinked and almost missed them but managed to get a "Go Emma - Love you!" in there which got some "Awww's" from the crowd surrounding us. It was then on to Canary Wharf - the 17-18 mile mark. I had already lost nearly all my battery due to checking Emma's progress online, keeping in contact with others around the course who had seen them, updating people on Facebook on how they were doing and constantly texting and calling people to organise where they where and where they were headed. When we got to Canary Wharf we had about 45 minutes before I wanted to be on the move again so I got a coffee and charged my phone up. I had planned to stay put and meet my best friends Ele and Yuliya there but Canary Wharf station is a lot bigger than I envisioned. After a ridiculous amount of confused calling I finally caught up with them. I wanted to be right by the barriers so that I could give Emma some High5 Zero tabs as know she feels the benefit of them, especially as around mile 18 things begin to get tougher. I positioned myself at the 30km mark in between Ryan (Rosie's boyfriend) and Dan with Yuliya and Ele. When I got a call from Dan exclaiming Emma had been asking for her drink my heart sank. I had been staring at all the competitors but completely missed Emma and Lee. I was gutted, angry and most of all upset. Then started touchy and determined Hollie (a mix that doesn't bode for the best mood especially with company).
Emma and Lee at mile 18
 I marched my companions to another tube station at mile 21 in the hope we might just be able to catch Emma before she had gone past. I managed to squeeze my way to a barrier and climb onto it so I had a higher viewpoint. After about 10 minutes I saw some purple run past and I screamed to Emma and gave her her drink. She was looking tired but still looking strong and determined - she later said that mile 21 was the worst point. The next time I would see her she would be a marathon runner. With that realisation my mood somewhat changed. I apologised for being miserable beforehand but then began to think a lot and go deep into myself. (I'll apologise again now to Dan, Yuliya and Ele for being crap company that day. I was anxious for Emma and emotional for what the day stood for. I can't express how much it meant to me and to Emma you being there). Whilst on the rammed tube on the way to Green Park I started crying. Now I am not someone who cries a lot especially not in public but the emotions swept over me. The pain of losing Rosie and what Emma was doing in honour of her was overwhelming. I put my face down and covered my head with my hands to try and hide the tears but I was fooling no-one. When we got off the tube I stormed off ahead to try and compose myself alone. I knew that if Yuliya, Ele or Dan went to comfort me I would crumble, even if a hug is what I wanted more than anything in that moment.

Emma at mile 25 - nearly there!
 It took us ages to cross the bridge over the finish meet and greet and as everyone was using their phones, trying to get hold of anyone was a nightmare. Furthermore, my battery was almost flat again (bloody iPhones!). I had agreed to meet Emma by the 'D' banner but after 45minutes of standing in the scorching heat we gave up and headed to the pub where everyone was meeting. I was in desperate need of a beer by this point! I still believe it is harder to spectate than to run the marathon and it really made me appreciate all of the support I get along the sidelines of my events, particularly an Ironman which really is a full day. I hadn't eaten since breakfast at 7am so when I had a Peroni it went straight to my head. A large glass of red wine later and I was pretty tipsy (endurance drink training is needed). Emma was wearing her heels at the pub and had you not known any different would've thought she was just Sunday drinker at the pub. Truly amazing.
 The wine I mentioned had obviously hit me which only heightened the emotions I had been feeling throughout the day. When it came for Emma to say goodbye I was a mess. I clung onto her not wanting to let her go and barely got my words out through the tears when saying how proud I was of her. I have never in my lifetime felt that sense of pride - is that what having kids feels like? We were the last ones to say goodbye to one another (probably because we were dreading it) and our crying into each others arms had attracted our group which consisted of many friends and family - I think everyone knew how much this moment meant to us. I have become extremely close to Emma since September last year. Being sisters we had that strong connection previously and Emma was always more of a best friend to me. Being girls we have used each other for support and when Emma had my interests in running as a form of therapy it bonded us even more considering my passion for endurance sports. Eventually I let Emma go and upon doing so she reiterated something we always exclaim - how hard it is to say goodbye to me. I hated seeing her go and continued crying in Dan's arms until we had finished our drinks. Dan thankfully cheered me up a little by making me laugh and I toddled off to the station in my somewhat tipsy state.

 I had work at 6am the next day but that didn't stop me having a little more wine when we got back. I ended up crying alone in the bathroom for about an hour while Dan went to bed but knew that I had to get the emotions out. Life still feels completely unfair and cruel and I miss Rosie more than ever but what Emma achieved that day can never be taken away. I am so proud and happy for her and we vowed next year we shall be doing it together. (Emma is also doing the New York marathon in October so her focus and training continues). We plan to do many charity events over the next year in order to get the required charity money to race together (this will be aside from my Hollie4Kona mission). The big event will be a posh frock ball in March which will celebrate Rosie's 21st birthday and we will aim to do it the way she would've wanted it. This will be an emotional event to organise but also an exciting one and one that will give us both a focus and distraction over the next year - something we both need. I'm sure yet again it will bring us closer.

 So finally I forgot to mention - Emma and Lee completed in 4h34 an absolutely amazing time especially for your first marathon. I just want to finish by saying congratulations to my lovely sister Emma, I am so unbelievably proud of you. What you have done is inspirational and to raise over £13,000 for a cause so close to yours and our families hearts is truly amazing. I also have to say a huge well done and thank you to Lee. Lee recently lost his brother and I am sure he was there shining down on you too. Thank you for looking after Emma that day. The pride I feel for you both cannot be expressed.

Finishing in 4h34 - what a day!


The post race smiles - you are marathon runners!


           

Tuesday 15 April 2014

A narrow podium miss and Andover Triathlon race report

 So it is exactly 5 weeks until Ironman Lanzarote. Have the nerves started? No. Has the excitment? YES! I am slightly concerned about the distance as I have to keep reminding myself although I have done one previously it is a bloody long way and as I know an unforgiving course. My recent events having not gone to plan has worried me a little too and this was made slightly worse when during my first UK Triathlon I could not stomach anything. It was only a sprint but I felt like I needed some extra energy to push myself and in hindsight had I have had that I may well have positioned a lot better. This led to some despairing tweets asking for advice to which I got many including one from my biggest competitor in Lanzarote, Becky Hoare. It really humbled me that someone who is going for Kona in the same event as me was kind enough to share their trade secrets even if I am not that much of a threat. 

 On the lead up to the weekend of the Andover triathlon (6th April) I had been feeling rough and still not 100% since coming back home. I was getting horrific migraines that would make an appearance without fail at 4pm everyday whilst at work which got increasingly worse throughout the evening. As I was on the late shift and didn't finish until 9pm I had already done my 3hours of training before work and at lunch so it didn't affect my training. I was due to be going into London to see my friend, Yuliya, on the Friday but wasn't sure how bad I would feel come 4pm and in the morning after waking up feeling bad decided I would bail on going to London. For me to cancel on a friend is a rare occurrence and being the great friend she is understood. I still saw her however and we had a chilled somewhat merry night at my parents house. The headache was still there but I had taken painkillers beforehand as a precaution so that may have helped. On the Saturday morning everyone was feeling rough bar me due to overindulging on wine (she will hate me for this, but I only just stopped the car in time for Yuliya to be sick on the way to the train station!). It was my nephews Tom's birthday on the Tuesday so he was having his birthday meal on the Saturday so I joined my sister and brother-in-law there. The party ended up like a trip to a zoo - boys will be boys! On Saturday night I got to bed ready for an early start. The triathlon started at 8am and I was in the first wave. 

 I was determined when coming into this race to beat last years time of 1h28. This should be easy, I mean look how much I have done and how far I have come in one year. I was aiming for a time of 1h20, maybe somewhat optimistic but that was my goal. I still didn't feel 100% but mentally I was excited which is a huge improvement from the dire state I was in before the Marlow Half Marathon 2 weeks before. The weather was torrential in the morning but thankfully began to die down a little whilst I was sorting my transition out. I was racked and ready by 7.25am - I was getting quicker at preparing transition, either that or I actually have begun understanding time keeping. I also felt like I was missing something as the majority of people had bags trailing around their transition whereas everything I need was on my bike and was only carrying my swim hat and goggles. That morning I had another severe case of dodgy stomach and knew from then on I was going to struggle to stomach anything particularly gels which since Abu Dhabi have been put off. 

The only picture I have of me swimming
 I was in the first wave which indicated the faster swimmers. I was one of the few women in the 24 person wave. I felt pretty small in comparison to the men that surrounded me but that never worried me - in fact it always motivated me more. We started a little late and I was ready to give the swim (400m - 16 lengths) all I had. Within 4 lengths I had caught up with the guy in front of me and it took him a further 2 lengths and annoyingly about 4 taps from my hand on his foot for him to stop for me and let me get in front. Frustratingly this cost me precious seconds but I was surprisingly understanding - I know this is the problem in a pool based triathlon. I finished the swim (and the run down to my bike) in 7m29 which made me 19th overall and in the top 20% of competitors. My transition was a nice 1m40 (as I thought I took ages here this came as a pleasant surprise to me). After that it was onto the bike where it all went downhill and I'm sadly not referring to the terrain. Almost instantly I felt like I was struggling. My legs were burning which I thought could be due to my tough sessions I did on the Wattbike that week but I was actually finding the bike leg tough which at this point wasn't on a hard terrain or gradient. I saw a woman overtake me and that annoyed me. I pushed on through and kept pushing the gears around. When at the top of a 4mile slog I decided to get off and check my bike. That was when I realised I had been cycling with my front brake pad rubbing. This was something I checked when in transition as due to the travelling my bike has gone through recently knew that any little knock could hit this out. I rearranged the problem and carried on. Before long it was a struggle to ride again. I found that every time I even slightly moved the handlebars the brake pad would rest on the wheel. I had to stop a total of 4 times during that ride which in hindsight sacrificed a top three women's finish. I completed the bike in 50m17secs and was not so calm and understanding now as I had been post swim. Transition 2 however in comparison was a pretty speedy 26seconds. My aim on the run was to push it and aim to get a 25 min 5km (something I have never achieved). I ran out of transition for Dan to shout that I had done the bike in 50minutes - my heart dropped and anger and disappointment kicked in. He also told me that I was currently the fourth woman and was not far off the third. That 5km was one of the most uncomfortable runs I have experienced. I felt sick the whole way round and I am still unsure whether that was due to feeling rough or due the effort I was putting in. Either way I could not stomach a gel even though I knew that may have helped me push it that bit more. The terrain was also wet and muddy and some points and it took all my effort to just stay up right let alone try and keep my pace up. Dan began running with me at some points to try and motivate me to gain on the women in front. I also had my parents and my sister to support me (being a local event it was easy for them to spectate). 

Pushing to the finish
I finished the 5km in 26m28secs which is a PB for me and an overall time of 1h25m30s. I was relieved for it to be over, pleased with my run and swim but angry about my bike failure. Although I couldn't quite catch her I had in fact gained 3 minutes on the runner woman in front which to me is something I have never done - gain on people on a run! I must be doing something right! 
 The first woman finished in 1h13, second in 1h21 and third in 1h22. The latter had a slower swim and run than me and I was a mere 3 minutes behind her. Annoyingly had my bike not taken 5 minutes+ off me I could've easily placed third and had I not lost seconds in when stuck behind another swimmer I could've even placed second. There is always an element of luck in triathlon!

The pain

The relief
 However, although there were certain things that were out of my control that ruined where I placed on the day, on reflection it is an improvement and that can only be a good thing. It is the beginning of the season and I have plenty of events to improve this. At the end of the day it is a new PB for a sprint distance tri and for this particular course, even if its not as much as I would've liked. I came first in my age group and was minutes off a podium spot and know that it was only a mechanical failure that stopped me achieving that. Despite feeling sick during the run I enjoyed competing again. My next triathlon is the Good Fri Tri on, you've guessed it, Good Friday - 18th April. I did this particular Tri in 2012 so yet again going for a course PB. If I do not get one here I would hit rock bottom considering that I last did it 2 years ago when I was just entering triathlons with no real focus. My 2012 time was 1h33m which actually isn't too bad considering and as I remember it has a tough run route which to me now I am seeing as an advantage. This is where I plan to make my time up over other faster runners - keep plodding and keep pushing is my mentality. As well as trying to smash my PB here I am of course also chasing the win this time and I mean business. As Dan said to me in the car on the way back from Andover, "You need to be going into these events with the intention you will win". I would never consider myself to be good enough to win anything in my triathlon or sporting adventures but if the Andover Tri taught me anything it is that I can and if I am going to get to Kona better get used to believing in myself. Thank you Try Tri events for another well organised triathlon with lovely volunteers - you have restored the faith and motivation I needed! I'll see you at the Good Fri Tri! 

Thursday 3 April 2014

Getting out of holiday mode

 Well I haven't updated this since my Abu Dhabi race report even though I have actually done a half marathon event since. This was probably because I have only just got myself out of holiday mode. I shall start with the lead up to the Marlow half marathon and include my race report that I competed in on the 23rd March, 6 days after I arrived home.

 So I arrived home from my triathlon adventure on the 17th March. I of course was very excited to see the two boys I left at home; my lovely Larry Boy, the pug, and Dan, the boyfriend (yes in that order haha). I spent a few days solely with them but was not blending back into my normal routine easily. I wanted to be back in Lanzarote and felt like everything had been cut short. It was unlike any holiday I had been on - I was not ready to come home. I was living an amateur triathletes dream, why would I? After Tuesday and most of Wednesday it really was back to reality - I was doing a night shift. Thankfully though I only had 2 to get myself through, which I only just about managed. It was particularly hard to get myself back into the swing of things as we didn't have a flat anymore and are currently living Dan's nan's spare room. This is because we gave the notice in on our flat ready for the 'imminent' move to our new house which fell through last minute. Getting the motivation to sort kit out with little space wasn't what my brain craved. I craved calm and cleanliness (and La Santa). As I mentioned in my previous post I had booked the Marlow half marathon just before flying abroad and was doing it with my best friend Ele who did Silverstone and got the running bug. My thoughts arrogantly were 'It's only a half marathon' and would would be a good time to have a catch up. This bad attitude to racing remained the same even on the lead upto it.
 As you may have been able to tell from my previous blog I was still feeling somewhat deflated about my performance and feeling quite low. The idea was to try and use the half marathon and competing again as a confidence boost. However, I woke up on the Sunday with a bad attitude towards the race and actually dreaded it. Ele was also going through a tough time in her personal life so she wasn't in the best mood either. There was one moment where we both considered moving down to the 10k but knew that lack of places we couldn't and although low I don't think I was that bad. I'm not going to give a huge race report into this one as it isn't one I want to remember. It was the most unenjoyable half marathon, possibly even event, I have ever taken part in. I discovered that the bad stomach I had struggled with in Lanzarote and Abu Dhabi was still there which made me constantly lacking energy and the weather and terrain just made it worse. Now I'm not one to complain about the weather and sometimes actually like a bit of rain when running, but this was hailstones. They were hitting my bare skin (I seemed to be the only one with exposed flesh) leaving me red raw. The rain that accompanied this made the off road route horribly muddy and as I wasn't wearing trail trainers felt like I was putting all my energy into running and getting nowhere. This was at it's worst at mile 9 - I knew I wasn't going to get another sub 2 hour time, my stomach was at it worst and I felt like I was going backwards and the thought of a gel for some much needed energy made me feel ill. When I looked down at my Garmin at this point I was practically going backwards in comparison to the achievable 6min/km I had decided to accept was my best that day. I had somehow within minutes dropped to 6m19 but felt like I was putting the same effort in as before. I have never felt as deflated as I did in that moment ever, why was I not moving? I kept pushing on through the increasing pain and managed to get past my despair, which had turned to anger. Before I knew it I had started an early sprint finish in the final 2 miles and was hitting 5min/km. I had no idea whether I could maintain this but I just wanted to finish and would seemingly die trying. I began overtaking many of the people who had done me throughout the race which felt good but for once I wasn't really that concerned. I used a final victim as my target to overtake in the final 200m and felt the sick rise from my stomach in the process. I crossed the line in 2h03, no PB but not bad, nevertheless I was not happy. Moral of the story I will never underestimate a half marathon again and will never enter an event on a whim, I have my events lined up for the year - NO MORE! After hobbling our cold and seized up bodies for some lunch in Marlow we chatted for hours (Ele had a lot to sort out to which I happily helped with). I was sad to see Ele go and this got me even more down. She was going through a tough time and needed me but I could do nothing as I had no bed to offer her and had work in the morning. I'm not sure if this event helped anything although Mark did comfort me somewhat by saying, "You are progressing nicely and have a lot of endurance within you that you will be able to use in Lanzarote".

 This all said I have had some motivating factors that will hopefully boost my mood and increase my motivation. Firstly I got promoted and secondly discovered a new challenge I am going to do. Whilst talking at work I discussed Twitter friend Sophie Radcliffe (@challengesophie) who recently wrote a blog outlining how she rode from London to Paris (and got back) in 24 hours. I read it and it seemed a mad, cheap and achievable challenge for me. My colleague, Andy and occasional running buddy (although much faster than me) has got into cycling and recently bought his first road bike much to my persuasion. He was keen on this challenge when discussing it and so was I - that was the perfect recipe. The next day was had a date and the ferries were booked. So I am cycling to Paris (190 miles) on the 28th April with Andy, Dan, myself and possibly my cycling buddy, Jane. The date we have chosen is the day after Rosie's birthday and what a fitting tribute it will be to my lovely girl. Moreover, hopefully this will give me a proper motivation boost I crave. (And before you say that I'm contradicting myself as I just wrote about not doing things on a whim I can justify this one as it is not an event we are just doing it solo). 

 Another thing happened this week that made me acknowledge, finally, what I achieved in Abu Dhabi was when I went for a bike ride with Jane on Monday. As Jane has been tempted by the London to Paris challenge she wanted to test out how she would fair on a longer ride. So we went on a 100km ride around the unforgiving Chiltern's. Halfway into the ride Jane admitted, as the route maker, she couldn't have picked a hillier course had she tried. Some of these climbs even challenged Lanzarote I'm sure. Although admittedly we weren't pushing it we finished the ride in 4h19 - a full hour slower than my effort in Abu Dhabi! Obviously the terrain, climbs and non-race conditions would have been major contributors to this slower time, it did give me a nudge to not be so hard on myself.

  A further thing that got my blood going and mind racing with excitement was that the Ironman Wales start list has been released. I know from what people have told me that analysing this is going to help as I can only ever focus on what I can achieve as that is the only thing in my control but I just couldn't resist. I printed out the list and googled the names of my other 10 competitors. This number has almost doubled from last year showing the increasing popularity of Ironman. Thankfully, from what I could research only one had done an Ironman before (Wales last year) and the others had some good sprint times but nothing I cannot rival with hard training. Maybe I missed some details but seeing that no-one was an age group champion was a huge relief and weight off my shoulders which means I really can just focus on myself. 

 So this weekend is my second triathlon of the year and my first in the UK. This is local to my parents in Andover and I did it last year so although only a sprint will be a good way to assess my improvements in a year (of which I hope there are considering I became an Ironman in it!). It's official the triathlon season has started. Here's to no weekends and constant chat about events! Here is to the next season, hope it's a good one especially with my restored faith (just about) in myself!