I am a runner

 Well the reason there has been a lack of blogging is because I honestly couldn't think of much to say (I'm sure that will change when I get started). Nothing particularly notable or exciting seems to have happened over the last few weeks except for work being swamped due to the floods (the joys of working for a 24 hour news channel). In all honesty I have been working my way day by day through my new personalised training plan which seems to make life just plod along nicely. I don't have to think about what I'm doing anymore and I am loving that especially with my shift work. This is a statement I never thought you would hear me say - I like being told what to do. As a self confessed control freak this is a big statement. Although I think deep down I still believe that I have some control over what I am doing (I'll just keep reassuring myself of that). A great advantage of letting go of my 'winging it' approach to training is that I am seeing results. I mentioned this with my swimming in my previous blog and now I am seeing it most obviously in my run. As I have always explained I have never been a natural runner and have always claimed it as my worst discipline. However, since changing my attitude and technique towards running when I first met my coach Mark I am enjoying it more which is seeing me improve. He also reassured me I wasn't rubbish which in turn has positively affected my confidence. I have always been a steady 9-10km/h runner (for those of you who work in miles that is 6 miles and hour or 10 minute miles). I was and never am going to break any records but in a short period of time my comfortable pace is now 11km/h and for shorter distances I can even reach 12km/h which was considered a sprint to me just a year ago! For anyone who wants to know that is a 25 minute 5k which although I don't have particularly high aspirations to achieve is a nice way to assess myself. This target is something Michael Barnett (Smoker2Ironman) a fellow blogger and twitter friend had aspired to do, and achieved, and in the same process (according to Runners World) named him as a committed runner (his blog where he achieved this is here http://smoker2triathlete.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/i-am-serious-runner.html). Since he published this blog post another twitter friend argued Runners World statement is bollocks, writing, 

"My current best 5k is 26.59...

My best ever 5k was 25:43 in 2010, so……

Despite running 3 marathons, completing one Ironman and 3 half Ironman and more 10ks than I care to remember …..

I AM NOT A COMMITTED RUNNER.  Bollocks to you Runners World!"

This blantantly argues that the magazines statement was a rubbish generalisation. (IronPugsleys full blog can be seen here http://ironman39.wordpress.com/2014/01/20/setbacks-and-leaps-forward/).This shows the banter, opinions and fun of blogging and both blogs had got me thinking about myself as a runner. After years of doubting myself I will finally say I am a runner (this is turning out to be blog full of confessions). Furthermore, although I said I'm not bothered about reaching the 5k in 25 minutes I may just try as subconsciously I keep thinking about it and am using it as a way to assess myself which can't be a bad thing.

 Another way I have been able to see improvements in my running is when I went out without my Garmin. This wasn't by choice but I had no battery on it and had no time to wait for it as I was due to go to work. So I ran to feel for the first time in months and it was lovely. By not constantly checking my pace made me appreciate what I was doing and actually enjoy running for the joy it gives (who would've ever thought I would've said this?!). What was great is just before I went on my run Mark emailed me a picture of him crossing the line in Kona in 2010 so as soon as I got back I replied, "I saw this (the picture) just before going on my run - what motivation! Ran without my Garmin today as it had no battery so ran to feel and felt
great - felt like I could've gone on forever!". Mark replied with an amazingly upbeat email with some real truth too;

"Hi Motivated Hollie
How cool!
Good to hear that Hollie
Technique is under rated
Ask an endurance runner to triathlete to run 75 minutes they can run 90
minutes
Ask most to spend 5 minutes on technique they cant find the time
I can see your long term potential you are starting to experience it already
I am a firm believer on running on feel I call them the timeless training
work outs
Cheers
Motivated Mark"

 We continued chatting until I eventually shared my bigger dreams and bucket list of future events (Mark said I may need to change that to barrel with all my aspirations). I recalled I had written about this previously so dug up an old blog post where I wrote my big dreams down. I wrote this on the 30th October 2013 in blog post 'Emotional roller coaster'; "I seem to have a constant need to make things harder and to better myself. With this in mind the events I would like to complete are; The Norseman Ironman distance triathlon (officially the hardest Ironman distance event due to its location in Norway and extreme weather conditions), a double Ironman, a solo channel swim crossing (non-wetsuit), Marathon des Sables (running across the Sahara for 7 days) and probably the one that will be my last endurance event, The Arch to Arc (an extreme endurance triathlon over two countries - Britain and France . Running for 87miles to Dover followed by a channel swim then topped off with an 181mile bike to Paris)." Mark assured me he would remind me when I had ticked these off.

 Anyway, I have digressed. So, I can say I'm a runner and have always claimed I am a swimmer as that is my best discipline - but a cyclist? Although I never classed my cycling as the worst discipline it is the one that needs a lot of, and possibly the  most attention now as it is the area I need to cut the most time off. In an Ironman the bike is the make or break, mostly because of the distance covered and it being the longest time you spend doing any of the three disciplines. I can cycle, yes, but previous incidents have knocked my confidence and I need to build this up again. I can only gain this with hours on the bike.
 In regards to technique I have never properly been taught but I am now methodically working on my it, in particular focusing on getting complete circles with each leg stroke to make me more efficient and in turn hopefully faster. During a turbo session with cycle buddy Jane I found on a regular basis when a doing single leg exercise I jarred when at the top of my stroke. Not good. I need to get each repetition smooth and this is something I have been painfully focusing on. This is a frustrating exercise for me as when I over-think something I seem to become worse, on numerous occasions I grunted out loud in the gym with annoyance getting some odd looks from the other gym users. However, slowly but surely there I have been less stoppages at the top of my stroke and after repeating to myself push and pull when doing these drills I am getting there. With this improving I have found my thighs burning during my training and aching post workout which although painful is such a satisfying pain as it means I am hitting the right muscles and with my obsession for muscles hopefully growing them too! So I'm on the way to becoming a 'proper' cyclist even if I would call myself a triathlete and Ironman over any particular discipline anyway. However, these improvements in a short space of time means is an exciting prospect - imagine where I could be by September for Ironman Wales!

 On another topic, in the last few weeks I had a debate with myself. People who know the Ironman world may know there are other avenues to get to Kona as opposed to doing it 'properly' and qualifying. One of these is the lottery. It is quite simple you pay $50 to buy a lottery ticket which puts you in with a shot of winning a place to Kona. Furthermore, with the 'passport programme' you can also pay a further $50 which doubles your chances on your already bought lottery ticket. My parents offered to pay this as another entry in and as a back up. I really appreciated their generosity but almost instantly decided to say no. I originally said I wanted to get to Kona through my own merit and will try that for at least two years whilst in my current age group. I slagged off Gordon Ramsay profusely when he cheated his way to the World Championships last year because he was a celebrity so in theory wouldn't I be eating my own words and becoming a hypocrite? Back up or not I knew that the lottery entry wasn't for me. The journey to Kona is what my mission, dream and promise to Rose is all about. I did agree however, that after these two years if I am not successful I would try and get to Kona by sharing my story via video and being voted in by the public, that way I am still achieving it myself.

 Another thing that has happened is I had to cancel my trip to Devon last weekend which included my first event of the year, a marathon. We were debating doing this beforehand because of the unknowing and unforgiving weather down there at the time but our decision was made for us when both mine and Dan's cars broke down the night before we were due to drive down. I think I was more upset about not going away as I am really craving a holiday and getaway, but I suppose it just wasn't meant to be.

 So I am on my mission to Kona with a clear direction and focus on technique. I'm not going to lie I had two days this week where motivation was low due to some tough days at work and feeling increasingly low emotionally. There is not one day I do not think about Rose and I am sad daily by the loss of Rosie, but some days it effects me a lot more. I have however worked something out about myself now after 3 months of feeling 'these'; I get an emotional 'crash' every month or so whereby everything seems too much. The slightest thing can make an impact on my mood and will bring me down. I know now I cannot stop them but know after a long period of feeling 'OK' I will inevitably crash. I have aptly named these 'dip days'. Having seen my best friend, Yuliya and off loaded a lot that was on my chest and getting some good advice I feel much better and following the tough workout I did the day after am feeling back on track. I made a promise to get to Kona for Rosie and that needs to remain my focus when I do crash. Having had my dips, hopefully for the month, I am back and although I dread the next dip, for now I shall enjoy my aching limbs and continue to put a smile on my face. Until next time - thanks for reading! (I have finished with a picture of my pug Larry in case anyone else needs cheering up).

Goodbye for now!