Sunday, 14 July 2013

Damned if I do, damned if I don't


    Well, it is my last night shift after a mammoth amount of overtime over the last 2 weeks equaling eleven 12 hour night shifts over a fortnight. As promised in my new Ironman rule book I am only allowed to write my blog when on nights as if I am doing it on my days off I am not doing enough training. So this is my latest update before the next night shift.

  I knew training when on night shifts was going to be tough. When I wake up after a shift there is only a small 4hr window to train, eat and shower before heading out the door again. This definitely makes me appreciate my free hours more when on days, even if they still are 12 hours. However, despite getting into a pretty solid sleeping pattern (which was especially difficult given the heatwave we have been having) I have felt absolutely shattered. The first week was going great. I did seven shifts in a row that week and each day managed to get in some form of exercise; 3hr runs, 3hr bike rides, circuit and weight training, and then it all caught up with me. On day 5 of my night shift I was so tired I felt weak and floppy like a newborn baby. I couldn't not train however so I began to get my kit on for another run in the blistering heat. Dan then said I was in danger of over training which he thought I had been doing, hence why I felt weak. I thought in my head damned if do, damned if I don't.

  I had always known that an Ironman is just as much a mental endurance test as much as it is physical one. However, I never thought it would play such a massive role in training as well. Due to the late entry into Ironman Wales which has cut my training time I have ultimately put myself under A LOT of extra pressure. In order to not even consider failure in September I am making sure I do not miss a training session which ultimately made me over-tired during my mass night shift stint. I feel guilty to myself if I miss a day of training and this only affects my mood. It makes me sink into a pit of self-pity although I know that rest days are essential when training for any event. The golden rule that any coach or personal trainer will say time and time again is; "Listen to your body". I did that when I felt weak that day but it only made my mind weaker. I beat myself up about it and despite taking the time off from training it didn't stop the dreams/nightmares depicting me missing the cut of time for the bike and therefore not become my lifelong dream of an Ironman. Failure is not an option. I cannot do that to myself or my family who are coming to support me in Wales. They expect to see me cross the line (within the cut off time) and I want to do nothing more.
  Although this all seems doom and gloom I did get excited when members of the tri club completed Ironman's in Austria and Frankfurt. One of whom did their first in Frankfurt in a cracking time of 9h47! I also began to anticipate the arrival of September by thinking of the events I would like to complete after and tick off my list. I know it's preemptive as I haven't completed one Ironman yet but there are some locations I just want to conquer. These are Ironman Austria (since the idea got into my head about this event I have to do it), Challenge Roth (an Ironman distance event in Germany which is said to be spectacular for views and support), Ironman Bolton as it would complete the UK Ironmans and the Outlaw (another UK based Iron-distance triathlon I would like to take on). All these events truly are long-term goals, the ones abroad are definitely not a consideration until at least 2015. Everyone has to have ambition right?

  Anyway, back to reality. With my mind being tired I am desperately looking forward to having a break (obviously one that includes training). My first getaway is to Devon with Dan on the 5-11 August which will start by me cycling there and include many runs along the Jurassic Coast. This holiday is also finished with a marathon. Straight after my marathon I then go to Tenby, the location of Ironman Wales, with my Dad for some all round training but the main emphasis on the bike leg. With Ironman Wales being one of the toughest in the world due to its bike course I need to get used to the terrain I will be faced with for 8 hours of my life. It may seem that I am not putting much emphasis on the swim which may make me seem complacent to the challenge it is but I am just focusing on my weaknesses at the moment. Although I do not consider the bike my weakest discipline it is the one I am having the most fears about. I have told Dan on many occasions that as long as I get to the run in time I will complete. Again this may look like I'm being complacent for the toughness of a marathon after 2.4miles of swimming and 112 miles on a bike, but if I get there within the cut off it gives me 6 and a half hours to do the marathon. Unless I get a serious injury I could walk/jog the marathon in that time. So I just NEED to get to that run, the run is a means to an end. (Dan and I still argue over this mental attitude of mine, but at the moment that is my focus). 
  However, my need to train and focus brought me to think of an open water swimming holiday. I looked into a company called SwimTrek and they have a perfect getaway holiday in Cumbria which takes place over a weekend and consists of 4-5km of swimming a day including swim technique coaching and analysis. I would also be able to do some running whilst there. I would go alone, making time for myself to train and relax away from the stresses that work and training to a routine brings. I have asked for availability for the next trip in 2 weeks time, so fingers crossed they can accommodate me. However, if this is not possible there is a later date in August but it would mean taking more holiday and I don't really want to decrease that so early in the year. Moreover, if there is no places for the July trip there is a half Ironman distance triathlon that weekend called the Midnight Man. As the name suggests it is done overnight. I know I can get myself into a night shift pattern and anyway it adds to the challenge. The event is in Dartford and despite the bike route being 9 laps of a closed dual carriageway I think it would be an experience as well as a much needed confidence boost to myself after Exmoor.

  With these mini holidays and work September will be here in no time, so no time to hang around, I need to train!

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