Sunday 3 August 2014

The real countdown begins - what will be will be

 So sadly all good things come to an end and I am finally getting over the nostalgia of not being in Lanzarote anymore. Welcome back to the 15 hour days at Sky News. I thought I would mark this landmark countdown to my 'A' race of this year by writing a blog update. It is officially 6 weeks until Ironman Wales. This time in 43 days I will be on the walk down to start the 2.4mile swim loop around Tenby's North Beach. I will relive all the emotions I encountered last year and once that cannon goes off it's me against the clock and the 2000 other athletes who will be wanting to complete the brutal Welsh Ironman course. In particular however, I'll be chasing and trying to fend off the 10 other women in my age group to get that desired Kona slot.

 So how am I feeling? I can honestly say I am feeling good. I am excited. I have built up a following of people some of whom are either competing or travelling to Tenby to support me (as well as experience the unique atmosphere that Ironman Wales offers). I am also excited about challenging myself and to see my progression. Being the only Ironman I have done twice I will be able to get a clear comparison of how I have improved in a year. I am also excited to throw myself into an Ironman that means so much to me. I have no doubt it will be emotionally tough. Ironman is that in itself let alone the pain surrounding the area. I couldn't hold it together in Lanzarote, how will I cope when the stakes are higher and the location holds so many memories? I obviously cannot answer this now but I am full of anticipation (I am awaiting the nerves to kick in anytime in the next few weeks though).
 I have obviously thought about this race a lot and what it means to me over the last year and after much reflection feel for the first time ever I have truly taken the pressure off myself. Not so much that I do not want to taste the success but just enough to be able to say 'what will be will be'. I have exciting things happening over the next year and much to look forward to. For my own happiness and success I need to go into Wales with the same anticipation I did last year and just enjoy the event and the unique atmosphere and support of Tenby, which I still argue cannot be rivaled anywhere else. I have even spoken to one of my main 'rivals', although I don't like calling her that. Jodie Moss came second in our age group last year, I came in third 30 minutes behind, and she is going for that one Kona slot this year as well. I had done my own research into Jodie previously, as she admitted she had done with me. I had decided to stop analysing the competition a few months ago, concluding I can only do my best. Whilst sat being interviewed for a future book (not about me personally) the author, Lucy, told me she had previously interviewed Jodie. In fact she had heard about me through Jodie. Lucy explained to me that Jodie wanted it so badly but also wanted me to have it too due to what I have been through. Lucy said she was lovely and I can now vouch for that too. She has also just gone through some of her own personal issues and I am deeply sorry Jodie. I promise I'm not the sort to slash your tyres, many say I'm too nice, so I look forward to meeting you personally. As much as I want qualify this year I have no hard feelings for who gets it - at the end of the day the best man, or in our case woman, wins and there is no point over analysing the competition as with any Ironman, it is a long day where anything can happen! If it doesn't I will just train harder next year and my journey will continue.

 So what else has happened? Well...I can now call myself a Team GB age group triathlete as my GB kit arrived this week. I was so excited when I saw the package on the floor and whipped off the clothes I was in and put it on. Luckily it fit! Seeing my name on a GB trisuit was an amazing moment - if I had chance to think I'm sure I would've cried. I rushed over to my parents wearing my trisuit and revealed it to my Dad. He gave me a huge hug - a special moment for us both.

GB selfie - I think I'm allowed this one!
My name in all its glory!
 I am in Ironman Wales mode at the moment so haven't really acknowledged the full extent of what this means to me but I shall delve a little. I never ever thought it would be possible for me, the fat kid who wasn't brought up on a bike and could only run when forced (probably for chocolate), would have earned the privilege to wear a GB trisuit. It's a dream I never even sought possible. It also has to be said none of this would've been achieved without having Rosie as my inspiration and motivation. Every step I take within triathlon she is there with me, so I owe much of this achievement to Rose as I do to myself. So yes, it means a hell of a lot. Some people aim for this as opposed to Kona, hopefully one day I'll achieve both. The event in which I wear it is a half Ironman distance (1.2m, 56m, 13.1m) triathlon (middle distance) in Peguera in Mallorca on the 18th October. My parents and my sister will be coming out to support me so will be a nice time away too.
 I am struggling to accept this is a personal achievement but when I have completed Wales it'll be my next big event so maybe it'll all kick in then? However, I still think it will be one of those things I can never really comprehend or put into words what it really means. I just hope somewhere down the line my parents and my family are proud of me, as as well as doing what I do for Rosie I am doing it with them in mind too.

 Finally, my next event is swimming the channel. My window opens on the 9th August which means I can get a call at any time over this week telling me it is time to head to Dover. I need to pack a channel swim bag that I take everywhere, much like an expectant mother! My honest emotions towards this is that I am absolutely crapping myself. I am beyond nervous. I hate the dark, the cold and all sea creatures. Why did I sign up for this?! The two quotes I have in my head when I think about all these fears is, "If your dreams don't scare you, they're not big enough" and "Do one thing everyday that scares you" (I'll certainly be doing my fair share when in the channel!). As part of a relay team someone recently mentioned about the order. Some suggested that we pick it out of a hat but I piped up and explained my worries. I opted to go first mainly because I will happily admit I am the woosiest at getting in and getting in from shore is a comfort thing for me. I am also freaking out about the changeovers in the middle of the channel so getting to see 5 others do it before I have to swim again will give me a confidence boost. The rules go that once you let go of the boat you cannot touch it again until your hour of swimming is up. By going first it means I will probably swim the most but this only weirdly excites me more even though it does mean longer in the water with the jellyfish! We may also have a BBC film crew with us on our crossing, so another bit of motivation to not be a woos! I will however take Dory's advice from Finding Nemo and 'just keep swimming'.

 I also want to welcome into the world my youngest nephew Charlie James Robert. You will be smothered in love and so so spoilt! I cannot wait for cuddles tonight! So as per I have an exciting few weeks coming up - will update on some further news soon!

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