A busy weekend and some soppyness

  Well due to the length of my last post I obviously have a lot to say and considering the amount I'm doing this weekend I'll start early as opposed to having a mass update afterwards.
  I am currently on a night shift which will finish at 7am tomorrow (Saturday) and from then on the day is going to be very busy. After arriving home around 8am I shall sleep for about 4 hous until midday then straight in to shower and head off to Sandown race course for a Triathlon Show. Now I may seem mad for distburbing my much needed sleep, especially with an event on the Sunday but I am desperate to go! I was worried that Dan may be annoyed when I suggested it but thankfully he was up for the idea as he can also look at the array of cycle and run gear they will have there. The Triathlon Show has a vast amount of displays showing the lastest kit as well as workshops, activities and seminars. One of the seminars I am desperate to see, which Dan for some reason thinks is sad, is Four-time Ironman world champion, Chrissie Wellington. She has recently retired, doing what many elite athletes struggle to do, bow out when they are at their peak and still winning. I would also love to get her book signed (will need to stop off at a book shop to buy a hard copy as currently only have it on my Kindle). So as well as trying to track down an elite Ironman I also want to have a look at all the goodies that are on offer at the show. As I have mentioned before there are still many things I NEED for my Ironman. Although I do not have the funds to get everything tomorrow, it will be a good time to test the competition and find the best for me such as a 2 piece tri-suit, a transition bag and trainers. There are many other things but these are the biggest expense and the most needed. I have always been loyal to the brand 2XU but will be a perfect customer to target tomorrow as I will go in there with open eyes and try not to be a brand loyal snob (they will have to have some good tactics and have some eye catching kit for me to change though).
  Of course with the nature of triathlon there is SO much kit you can inundate yourself with so as well as looking at the things I need it will be great to have a wishful look at the £2,000-£15,000 carbon bikes and more triathlon tech than anyone will ever need.
  So, after having a good look around the stalls and hopefully hearing and meeting Chrissie Wellngton we will probably leave when it closes around 5pm (I want to get my £9 entry fee moneys worth especially seeing as I will miss the morning). After that I am going back to my parents for the night before getting up early to travel to Bath for the half marahon on the Sunday morning. Due to the popularity of the event the cost of staying on the Saturday night was too expensive so I was thankful that unlike some events where the start time is really early, Bath is a rather approachable 11am. I am really looking forward to my busy day, topped off with seeing my parents that I haven't seen in what seems like ages! I will also pop in and see my sister and nieces and nephew as they live in the same village before having a carb loaded pasta meal and flopping to sleep in preparation for Sunday. (I also have to mention I am SO excited to see my dog Harry!). I also hope to see my brother, sister-in-law and niece when I make my way home. (I am the only one from the family who has flown over an hour from the nest, both my brother and sister are 10minutes away from one another).


My triathlon spectating rock and I



  As you may have guessed Dan is coming with me to spectate the Bath half marathon, as he does so many of my events. I am always so grateful that he does this as even during the small sprint triathlons it is great to have a friendly face to cheer you on and I relish looking out for him along the route. As well as that being a personal trainer he pushes me, tells me I'm going too slow in transition, timing how long I'm taking. I suppose you may call it tough love but it is encouraging when he knows when I'm not performing upto scratch and he knows when to turn that off if I am struggling and just need some real support. So for this Dan is my triathlon spectating rock and don't know if I could do it without him. I also think it must be pretty boring watching someone do an event so if you do ever read one of my blogs Dan I hope it is this one and thank you for your patience and motivation. On this note you could imagine how distraught I was when I found that that Dan wasn't going to be able to make it to my main event this year, the half Ironman due to a firefighter training course he just cannot miss. In the reality it is his careeer and my hobbie that put everything into perspective but I could not hide my dissappointment. I know I need to get used to not having him there at every corner as he won't be in a long distance triathlon therefore I would not have minded had it been any other event throughout the year. However, I then asked my mum if she would support me so I have a familiar face when the mental effetcts of doing a long distance triathlon kicks in. After some persuasian and proving I would be fit enough she agreed and I hope to spend the week after in Devon at the caravan my parents own with my Mum and Dad as a recovery holiday, which will be lovely. All I ever want, as many childern want, is for their parents to be proud of them, and although I will never be an elite athlete I hope that putting my mind and body through such an event will make them proud of me, even if I do stumble over the line.




My parents and I





 (As a further note, Dan is now able to come in June but only for the event, we won't be able to chill out together after. It is a long way for him to travel alone but I am so relieved as having him on site with me the night before to calm my nerves and helping me rack up will be a bonus I thought I wasn't going to have and having him there on race day is obviously what I need. It will be great, I will now have my parents and Dan there! I have got a win win situation as it means I will have more faces in different places, all I need to do is complete my side of the bargain and cross the finish line in time!).

 

So, I will give the next update after I return from Bath. Although we couldn't justify staying on the Saturday night we are staying on the Sunday night as the rates are almost half the price as the night before. With the Monday off work we can then enjoy a city we have always wanted to see. (I actually want to visit the Roman Baths and take it all in properly as I can't remember anything from when I was compelled to go on a school trip). Here's hoping the weekend goes smoothly with no more illnes, injury or overtiredness.

Work, recovery and tough training

  So it has been nearly a week since my last post so here is the update (sorry if it is rather long, I will start doing them more frequently to avoid this). After the success of my new triathlon club swim session on Friday I decided to go along to the run session the following morning. The run consisted of hill reps up the aptly named 'long hill'. The whole hill was 1k and along the route markers were placed at 800m, 400m, 200m and 100m. The idea is that you run to the top and back down, to the 800m and back, 400 back, 200...etc. This then makes it 5k and you could chose to do as many laps of this as you wanted. It was great as everyone runs at their own pace yet you still see everyone along the route. This is unlike some run groups were you do one mass route and the weaker runners feel demotivated after being left for dead at the back. The tough hill does take its toll and the pain in my knee had started to re-surface so I stopped with the few runners that were there at 5k and had a chat (seemingly always about triathlon) before heading to Chesham town for coffee.
  The coffee reward was definitely the best part of the session! I stupidly forgot money but Gill, one of the members helped me out and I got a lovely skinny latte - thank you Gill! (I promised I would return to repay her the favour). It was great to chat to the members, I could see my new triathlon friendships forming. Although the after session meet up isn't a compulsory triathlon chat, the majority of our conversations are triathlon based. This is something I am really loving about being part of a club that all have the same mutual interest. I went home feeling really pleased about everything and really glad I decided to finally try a tri club out.

  The rest of the day was spent watching the rugby and having a well earned treat night with some wine at Dan's parents. I was intending to cycle to my grandads again on the Sunday but my bike was still suffering from a puncture and by the time I got home it was too late. I felt guilty as I didn't want to let him down, but it just wasn't viable. I vow to do it as soon as I can.
  I was back on night shifts from Monday so tried to catch up on as much sleep as I could during the day. I also felt the full effects of the cold that Dan had been carrying for a week. It was not the best thing to be going into night shifts with as I felt drowsy, but on the other hand I was unable to sleep anyway due to struggling to breath. At work my shift buddy also had the makings of a cold so we both felt sorry for ourselves together. We also agreed that we would rather be throwing up for 2 days as opposed to feeling like we did (I still stick to that now). Due to the nature of night shifts it is difficult to do any training as by the time I get home at 8am I sleep until 3pm and then only have 3 hours before I have to leave again to go to work for the night.

  On Wednesday I started training again. I started of with spinning where there were some very obnoxious women who nearly made me say something when as soon as the instructor was out of the room began to diss her session and her voice. I wanted to say to them you do it better then or do it alone, but refrained. If I wasn't alone I may well have done, but I think my face said it all. Straight after spinning I met up with the tri club for another swim session. This was a lot tougher than Friday night but it made me push myself. The main set consisted of 3 sets of 5 x 100m sprints in a chain. Basically, the person in the front of the chain swims for 4 lengths within 1min50 then they go to the back. The next person in the chain takes over at the front and so on until the person who started at the front is there again. This was repeated 3 times with the timing for the 4 lengths reduced for every set. The hour yet again flew by and before I knew it it was time to get out.

  I still had Thursday off before my next night shift on Friday so it was a good day to get some more endurance training done. I finally decided to sort my bike out and get on the turbo trainer. I took some lessons from Dan, fixed the puncture ALONE and got the bike set up on my Tacx. (Please excuse the Ironing board, this is a make-shift garage in the second bedroom/utility/gym).

Me in turbo action (not particularly flattering)

  Along with the trainer there was a DVD of famous bike courses throughout Europe including some of the Tour de France so I wanted to check that out when on the bike. But the disc failed to work with my computer. After downloading some extra software I could only play the odd clip of someone's view of cycling around France which was in silence so I decided to go to plan B. I had bought the film 'Running the Sahara' in preparation for a turbo session. I heard about this movie when I was editing it on a film editing course and kept meaning to buy it. I thought it would be a great motivational film to watch when I am training. It is the story of 3 ultra-runners who decide to run the 7,500km across the whole Sahara thus meaning they had to run 2 marathons a day for 80 days. A patch on what I want to achieve but motivational as to what the mind and body can do. I cycled through the whole 2 hours of the film and felt the full effects after. It was sweltering in the room meaning I was drenched (not a nice thought) which made it even more knackering. I felt like I was doing Bikram Turbo (I could be onto something there), or training for a hot climate event. I need to get some more motivational DVD's for these sessions such as previous Ironman events or any other courageous individuals who take on ridiculous challenges. If I don't manage to get these before my next turbo session I can always rely on my newly bought 220 Triathlon magazine that I treated myself to. This has a list of 15 different workouts I can do on the bike. Although I feel that £4 is a lot of money to spend on a magazine (I used to begrudge Dan for buying his 'Men's Health' at this price) I can see that it is worth it. It is not like a 40p 'Chat' magazine that only lasts 10minutes full of trash about how "My mum ran away with my husband" and "The boob job that botched up" which I admit is a great read to pass time, but it cannot compare to the hours you can spend reading 220 Triathlon. It is full of pages of interviews with elite and amateur triathletes and Ironmen as well as having reviews of kit and lists of training programmes and sessions that are invaluable to me (although obviously highly boring to anyone uninterested in triathlon). I have considered subscribing to it, but still struggle to fork out for it.

  Anyway, after my very sweaty affair on the turbo I had next to no time to get showered and head off to some open water swimming. It would be the first time in 7 months I would get my wetsuit out! I was excited as I love swimming outside, however I was worried about the lack of fuel (food) I had taken on before going due to being in a rush. I put some sports caffeine tablets in my water in the hope that would see me through the session well. It didn't. I had the worst swim I have had in a long time. My cough and cold that were still lurking within me came back with a vengeance. I thought as I felt good in the indoor pool yesterday I would be fine today. However, it is a lot different when breathing in the cold outside air as opposed to the warm inside air. I couldn't get enough breath when swimming to accommodate coughing and needing more oxygen in order to carry on at my normal fast pace. Again we were in a chain, the main set today being 11 x 200m. I couldn't get a rhythm which affected my pace, my mind and my technique. I was getting more and more frustrated as the lengths went on. I managed to finish the session but it was a massive struggle. I know that my cold was holding me back, but it was a worry to find it that tough.

  This week was meant to be a tapering period (reducing my exercise in preparation for a competition) so I was ready for the Bath half marathon on Sunday. Basically, I just haven't run for a week. However, I have still tried to make myself feel fit enough by doing my other disciplines. I know I'll be fine on Sunday, I just hope that I have done enough resting so that my knee doesn't flare up. Coping with that pain for 13.1 miles would be a struggle, but I shall try and put that thought to the back of my mind as I believe a lot of pain is mental. I hope I do not find the race too hard as that would really demotivate me. A half-marathon is meant to just be the finishing leg of the half Ironman! However, one of the members reminded me that I will be a lot fitter by then and that as this is my first competition of my journey to June so it doesn't matter. Everything I do is a personal fitness journey so at the end of the day race times do not matter as long as I can hand on heart say I did my best.

Sacrifices

  I was up earlier than I wanted to be on Tuesday as I was eagerly anticipating the arrival of my triathlon goodies. When they finally arrived at 11am the delivery man must've thought I was crazy. He must've heard me running (crashing) down the stairs and instantly grabbing my turbo trainer from his hands. I have had some delivery men do one knock and then pathetically give up, leaving me no time to even get to the door, but I was not prepared for that to happen today. After taking my 2 boxes of goodies upstairs I opened them with haste (I did spare some time to take a picture though).
  After dismantling my lovely display I began to put together my turbo trainer. I thought this was going to be a nightmare as the instructions were pretty basic, but after half an hour I managed to have it all put together and was rather pleased with myself. I then ran down to my bike. However, my hopes of a quick tester were dashed when I realised my rear wheel was as flat as a pancake (this also gave me some answers as to why I found the last hill the other day so unbelievably hard). As I am still not a bike mechanic whizz I had to leave the turbo trainer test for another day over the weekend when it had been to Dan's workshop. Dan, as much as he hates it, has been my bike mechanic, setting up shop whenever I have a problem. This is something I have to change, we have agreed that being able to sort a simple puncture out is a necessity, especially as this seems to happen a lot to me with my bad luck on 2 wheels. I have been lucky that on all the shorter distance triathlons I have been in close range to Dan so if I did have a problem he would've been there instantly to sort it out. However, due to the length of an Ironman and even a half-Ironman, the likelihood of Dan being anywhere near me if it did happen would be too much of a lucky coincidence.

  So, after realising I couldn't go on my turbo trainer I decided to go for a run. The idea was to explore, as I still don't know the area very well. So that is what I did. I started off going the route we have walked before and then let my legs take me where they wanted to go. It was quite idyllic, running across fields that looked untouched by humans. I ran past a herd of deer, all staring at this fluorescent pink intruder bob past. I then ran through a lot of woods and into another field where there were over 100 sheep grazing. Unlike 'normal' sheep who scram at the sight of an intruder they seemed to hover in their mass numbers and just stare at me. It was rather unnerving and have to admit I was a little intimidated by sheep that day. However, I had the album from 'Django' on and I challenge anyone to not get a bit of a run swagger when listening to '100 black coffins' and 'Who did that to you'. I was glad I was off road as I probably looked like a mad woman miming along with an extra spring in my run. (Maybe that's what the sheep were staring at!)
  When I finally re-orientated myself I had done 50minutes and although I had a sharp pain on the right side of my right knee I wanted to do more. So instead of turning right when I hit Old Beaconsfield for the 100m home, I carried on towards the New Town and Amersham. I added a further 40 minutes onto my run and on the last hill home (it is a killer but good training that Old Beaconsfield is on a hill) I knew I needed a good song to push me up. Childish Gambino's 'Bonfire' did just that. I made sure that his background tempo matched the movement of my feet. After that song had finished I found another motive to get up the hill faster...another runner infront. He had just started his run as I saw him run out of his drive. I had to catch him. I nearly made myself sick with this pursuit but it was a hell of a sprint finish and I did catch him. I knew I could've gone on for longer which was a massive confidence boost for my Bath half marathon next weekend. I ended up doing 10miles in 1h30 which I was happy with. I made a cracking dinner that night, and yes I do say so myself but the pain in my knee was still there. I decided not to think too much into it and went to sleep early ready for work in the morning.

   Now Wednesday and Thursday turned out to be a disaster for training. I woke up on Wednesday after the worst night sleep I have had in a long time. I could not get comfy all night due to the pain in my knee so had what seemed like no sleep and I limped all day at work. I self-diagnosed myself with IBTS (runners knee) Iliotibial Band Syndrome and this was confirmed with a runner at work who has had it before. Thankfully he told me it was not a serious injury and with rest it would disappear. On the way home I got caught up in an extra hours worth of traffic due to roadworks so didn't get home till gone 8pm meaning I had been up 15hours with a rubbish amount of sleep. I was shattered, couldn't run and had missed my spinning class. I took my rest day of the week.
  Thursday didn't hold much luck either. Still recovering from my poor sleep the night before and bad knee I also felt the lovely feeling of shin splints. I could've put in a swim session tonight but had to make myself stay awake until 9.30pm when the lanes open and wouldn't have got the session I wanted due to my tiredness. I vowed to make Friday, my day off, a good one!

  Today, if anyone has read my previous posts, was my first day of my new triathlon club training session. I began to get worried, "will they like me?", "will I be rubbish?", "will I look fat?". When I asked Dan these questions he batted them down, "No, everyone likes you", "If you've done enough training you won't be" and "No you don't". I was SO tempted to stay in and have a glass of wine with Dan but resisted.
  So although the turbo trainer didn't get off to a great start, my new floats did. I did a skills and technique swim training session and loved it, it was like being back in swim club at school again. I revelled on how strong my kicking is and loved zooming upto the persons feet infront. My competitive side came out and the hour flew by and I stayed on longer to do a further mile in the pool.
  When I enerthed from the pool some members were chatting in reception. They had biscuits and cake but being good I avoided them. The members were really nice, it was so nice to chat about triathlons, what events everyone was training for and how many they done before etc. This conversation meant I have officially booked myself in for my first big event in 2014. I am going to swim the channel. As part of a 4-6 man team you swim for an hour and then swap, you rotate this as many times as it takes to get there, normally around 3 times. See how easy it is for me to sign up for new events. I came back with a huge grin on my face as it is something I have always wanted to do. However, behind that grin I know there a lot of sacrifices. We were talking in the changing room about how a social life and triathlons don't belong in the same sentence and I can see that. I have given up my Friday night to be swimming until 10.30pm and there will be many many more times I will have to fight the earge to want to have a glass of wine over a session, but that makes the end result so much more worth it. I am going to become and Ironman and swim the channel in one year. 2014 you are going to be a good one, I have just got to put the sacrifices in now to make it one!

Changes

  After completing the bike ride on Thursday I was pretty stiff and although my legs didn't feel like they were on fire I knew that if I got on the bike again the burning sensation would return, so I decided to go swimming on Friday night after work and a quick dinner. I was however shattered, the bike ride had obviously taken a lot out of me and before anyone thinks I had a wild Valentines night, we didn't. We had the stew that I had been slow cooking all day (our favourite meal) shared a bottle of sparkling wine, had a cup of tea and was in bed (sleeping!) by 9.30pm. I was up for work at 5.30 and finally got back at 7.30 by which time I was struggling to keep my eyes open. I suffer from really bad 'bags' under my eyes, a hereditary look and today I was resembling a Panda. I thought that I would be able to gain some energy from my chicken curry, not a takeaway I may add, just a Pataks jar, but this didn't happen. There was no way I was going to get the workout I wanted feeling that tired so gave a look to Dan hinting that I wanted to go to bed, his reply "Just say the words". So we slumped off to bed and were again sleeping by 9.30pm. I was asleep before I would've even started swimming!

My new toy

  I still had work over the weekend, so again up at the crack of dawn. I had high intentions of getting up at 4.45 and going for a run, but as I mentioned before I am not the runner who enjoys being out in fresh morning cold and the dark (I am a woos in the dark anyway) so turned that alarm off before I fell asleep. I was now fretting how I would get any training in over the weekend due to becoming dark so early and the gym closing at 7.30pm. Guilt began to set in which I think many people training for an event can relate to. This made my thoughts turn to a turbo trainer - in effect a holder that I can attach my road bike to and essentially make a spinning bike indoors meaning I can train to no end if I can't get out. I had put a turbo trainer on my ever growing list of things I need for the Ironman, but it wasn't on the top of the list, now it was. After hours of browsing the internet, my Triathlon magazine and Triathlon forums to find the best one on a budget I eventually narrowed it down to 2. The Minoura B60-R and the Tacx Satori. The second is more expensive but has a vast amount of brand awareness behind it, always considered one of the best and I have to say I am a brand snob. Tacx systems are the number 1 choice for the Tour de France and the Olympics so it seemed like a good choice, even though the Minoura was well reviewed. Overall the reason I chose the Tacx in the end was that it has a front wheel block meaning there is no wheel removal. So after finally biting the bullet and getting the turbo trainer and training tyre so my outside one doesn't get thinned down I was excited to receive my new toy. I also added to my basket some other essentials, some overshoe socks so my feet don't freeze when cycling outside and some swimming training floats. The need list had become shorter, but no doubt it'll grow again.

  Another change which I am making is to try and join a triathlon club. I always considered myself a lone ranger trainer. I feel that I get lost in my own thoughts which pushes me on, but the problem about training completely solo is that you don't know how tough the competition is until you are struggling on race day. Another positive to training with others is that you push yourself that extra bit, and with me being so competitive I will make sure I do that which is definitely what I need on the run. So I decided to bite the bullet and email Chiltern Tri Club, a 55 man group of eager triathletes. It will also be nice to have something in common with a group of people and as Dan isn't a triathlete I sometimes feel like I am boring him with my rants about how much fun and adrenaline you get from a race. I am going to my first swimming Tri Club training session on Friday 22. I chose to go to a swim session first to be able to assess where I am in my strongest discipline and then if that goes well may go along on Saturday to the Hill rep running session, my weakest discipline. The great thing about triathlon though is that everyone has a greater strength, so there is a mutual understanding that not everyone is the best at everything (obviously except for the pros, who's job it is to make their weakness a strength). Watch this space on the Tri Club side of things.


  The last change I am making early on is my nutrition. I have found out that the right nutrition and sleep means you can have the workout you want. Now, I have done every quick weight loss diet there is, The Cambridge diet, Tony Ferguson, Special K the list goes on, as well as exercising excessively. It came to the point that I was feeling faint and dizzy when doing exercise and although when on the Cambridge I lost a stone in 2 weeks it is not a maintainable diet. Therefore, I have now come to realise that in order to do a GOOD workout you need to fuel your body the energy otherwise you may as well not bother! So instead of calorie counting so that I am getting less than 1200 per day I am making sure I am getting in at least 1800 of the RIGHT quick release or slow release energy filled foods. Many sports nutritionists may say I need more, but I am struggling to try and fit more in after years of cutting back. At the moment I am also reading 'Go Faster Food' by Kate Percy which is feeding my mind with the right foods to be training and racing with. 

  I am going for a mini triathlon today, in opposing order though. A 6mile run followed by a spin session then a swim training session. I'll probably finish the night off with some weight and toning exercises, focusing on my arms and abs tonight. I post how my new toy is upon its arrival tomorrow.

Regaining confidence

  I'm going to try and not bore anyone with a tiny bit of background into how and when I can train. So, after signing up for the half Ironman I got a new job and moved house, all in the space of about 2 weeks. It was exciting, but coming with that excitement was also the daunting prospect of fitting in at a new job as well as fitting in training. Due to working in a 24 hour news channel at BSkyB I now work 12 hour shifts, and do night shifts for 2 weeks every month so is not the mundane 9-5 anymore but it does work well for me. I work a fortnight pattern of Monday, Tuesday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday one week then Wednesday and Thursday the next. So essentially I get 7 days completely off every fortnight which gives me plenty of time in my days off to do the long runs and bike rides. With this is mind I chose Thursday14th, Valentines Day, as my long bike ride day. Now, despite being signed up to the half Ironman for a few months I hadn't done a long solo bike ride since the summer before. There was a reason though....

  During a triathlon in July 2012 I fell off my bike. Now that sounds pathetic, but it wasn't really. In fact I smacked the left hand side of my body into a stationary van which knocked all of the vans rear lights out and as I was falling was hit by a car on my right, who drove straight off leaving me in a ball on the floor. (Thankfully someone else was kind enough to stay to call the ambulance and Dan). So that was my race over as well as my 2012 season of triathlons, of which there were 3 more. I was taken straight to A&E and was suspected of a broken collar bone and wrist. My collar bone thankfully wasn't broken but my wrist was playing up. Although I eventually found out it wasn't broken I had a difficult injury within the wrist, I cannot explain it as the surgeon did, but I was lucky that I was able to get seen by the right consultant who was able to explain to me how best to heal it. It is commonly thought that a broken wrist is not a major break but that is completely not true. If you cannot get full use of your wrist then it is seriously damaging to anything you do. My wrist is still not perfect, it hurts after a long bike ride, when doing weights and I wouldn't open a heavy door with it, but hopefully it will continue to improve. As well as that I have a numb shoulder constantly from the impact the van had on it, so have got sensory nerve damage that can sometimes tingle and even cause me intense pain. However, I was very very lucky, and without a helmet I don't think I would be here to write this.
  Anyway, moving on. Basically I lost all confidence I had on the bike. I had gone from cycling to work and back, a total of 22 miles daily to not wanting to venture out, even when my wrist had improved a little. As well as that my bike was broken, I remember the women who sat with me while waiting for the ambulance said "it's such a shame, your bike looks awesome".

  So back to the present, it is the morning of Valentines Day 2013, Dan is up going to Firefighter training at 5.30am and I'm feeling low (and it isn't because he hadn't said Happy Valentines Day as in truth I had forgotten as well). I slumped onto the sofa and turned on Sky News, the famous Paralympian Oscar Pistorius had just shot his girlfriend and that for some reason made me even more low. Dan knowing me so well guessed that somewhere deep down I was really anxious about the 45mile bike ride I was intending for myself that day. Every ride since the accident I had done was following him, copying him, in effect he was my GPS and Heart rate monitor but a more personal one. He suggested that I just drive the route, see my grandparents (that was my destination) and then we would do it together next week when we were both free. It was appealing as I couldn't sleep anymore but was shattered and although it is rare to be knocked off and left for dead when cycling I was scared of it happening. But I knew that nothing was going to get better by avoiding it, so Dan went to work and I got ready for my ride.

  As I was getting my ride nutrition ready I started to get excited.  Due to not doing a long distance triathlon before I am having to find a race nutrition diet that suits me, so I am trying different foods and gels to see what I like. Today I was testing fig rolls which I unnecessarily wrapped in too much foil. I downed a lucozade to give me some instant energy and set off. I was in high spirits and loved the route I was taking to Henley-on-Thames. It meant I traveled through Bourne End which is a picturesque village, Marlow which is undoubtedly posh and then the winding roads following the river into Henley. There were a few busy roads, including having to navigate across a massive roundabout that connected the M4 and the M40 but I just kept in my head the advice that Dan had given me that morning, "Be confident, they can see you and will be aware". The only doubt I had is that they weren't aware, and my confidence still isn't held in many drivers, and seeing as I have had first hand experience of one just driving off and leaving me on the scene of an accident I think you can see why. I just get so frustrated when drivers are so intent in getting out of a junction before you pass, or overtaking so close to your side when going round a bend or even on a straight when it could put at least 3 peoples lives at danger; me, them and another driver coming in the opposite direction. Why not just wait 10 seconds of your life and do it safely?! Rant over (I will probably mention that again though on future posts). One thing I have learnt as being a cyclist is to be cautious and attentive of them when I am the driver.

  After a blazing ride of 1hr20, getting very lost in Henley as well, I made it to my grandparents. Unfortunately I couldn't stay longer than an hour, as after leaving later than expected I had to leave at 3pm so I was not out when it was dark as I didn't have my high vis on or any lights with me. So after some food and a massive bear hug from my lovely grandad (my mum and siblings will agree with the death squashing hug) I was back on my way.
  One major downside about doing the same route back is that you know when the bad hills are approaching. The hills I was loving coming down at 25mph on the way there where definitely not going to be a pleasure on the return journey. I made sure to myself I would not get off, no matter what, so chanted in my head "I will get up" to the slow cogs of my bike spinning round. The worst hill was definitely the last, I think someone could've walked past me quicker than what I was cycling and my thighs were on fire, but I was intent on getting up to increase my muscle power and I did. After this I was on the home straight and with renewed energy from another fig roll I was aiming to get home within the 1hr15. Something would have to ruin my flow and I honestly thought I could see myself in a crash again. (Mum and Dad if your reading I didn't tell you because you would worry and it all turned out OK). The woman obviously did not anticipate my speed and tried to nip out before I could pass her, but even with an engine she couldn't pull away in time meaning I had to break and narrowly missed her bumper. At least by this point I had the confidence and ability to deal with it. On a better note about drivers, some are so considerate, they won't take the risk, and I thank them for that, always. I think of myself as a considerate cyclist, I don't want to be a pain to anyone's commute and deserve respect on the road just as a car does. And at the end of the day, we were here first!

  I made it back in 1hr15 and was pretty chuffed with that as it was my first long ride for a while. I was also held up for at least 5 minutes in Marlow's school rush hour, so in race conditions with closed and less busy roads it would've been closer to 1hr10. Dan wasn't back yet so I had a bath with a Lush bath bomb, lit candles all round the bathroom and read my Ironman book, to instill some more motivation in me. I had to get out after about 10 minutes as the sweltering heat of the water against my freshly frozen cycling body was making me sweat.
  I am looking forward to doing the ride again and seeing my grandad more whilst training is just a massive added bonus. All in all my confidence on the bike has been restored, although it may take a while with the drivers. I must be pretty unlucky with them or someone is testing me...
 

Why?

  It is unbeknown to me as to why I and many other aspiring Ironmen would want to put our bodies and minds through such an intense ordeal, but achieving what I and many believe to be impossible is strangely appealing to me and something I HAVE to do in my lifetime.

  I owe much of my inspiration for making the 'impossible' become possible to Andy Holgate, the author of 'Can't Swim, Can't Bike, Can't Run' and 'Can't Sleep, Can't Train, Can't Stop'. I can't explain his story with any justice, but if you have a mind like mine and read it you will instantly want to do something you never thought you could. So thank you IronHolgs for that! Another inspiring story that first introduced me to Ironman is the Hoyt family, the father and son team. Again my writing cannot do this amazing story any justice, but this video can (get a tissue ready) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kt7w8hV90SI. Anything is possible!

  I was never the fastest runner, in fact I still can't say I am a runner. I can do it but I am not the budding enthusiast who chooses to get up at the crack of dawn to feel the intense cold that makes it difficult to breathe to go for a run. I was never the fastest on the athletic track but would happily give any event a go when doing sports day (I remember doing the 1500m one year as I was the only one willing to give it a go). Strange how 1500m at school seemed like an infinity yet it isn't even a mile and I can proudly say I completed 26.2 of them in the London Marathon in 2010, raising nearly £3000 in the process.

  I was never much of a writer either, but yet I am here writing my own blog, in theory being an author. In fact I was always pretty average at everything (except for science and maths, that was just never going to happen for me). The only event in which I could excel and actually beat people was swimming and that is where triathlons became my sport. After doing my first open water swim in the dirty Thames at Victoria Dock in London I was hooked, coming in at a time of 25 minutes. I loved running down the pontoon and battling your way to the front. I had done some open water swimming sessions so was aware how to get your own way when swimming, how to position yourself if you weren't or were confident enough to possibly take a smack for the fight for the front, how to spot so you don't add another mile to your journey and most importantly how to draft. After that event I wanted more and signed up to the Virgin London Sprint Triathlon which I completed in 1hr39, which for a first attempt I was pretty pleased with.

  However, apart from the swim which I have always gained a massive advantage in I am average at the bike, and even worse on the run, therefore seeing all my efforts wasted. So as much fun as it is for me and for anyone to practice what you are best at, I have to do the opposite. This blog is my process to improve my weakest disciplines in triathlon, the bike and run, as well as making sure I do not ignore the swim. Hopefully by September 2014 I can write "I am an Ironman".

  My 'A' race this year is the Exmoor half Ironman on June 16th, which is a feared event in itself, and on the lead up to this I have a half marathon, a full marathon, an 80mile bike ride event, 3 triathlons and 1 duathlon. So lets make it happen...