A 2 month catch up...injury, ITU World Champs & Kona in tasting distance

 Wow it has been a LONG time since I last blogged and I have missed out SO much! The only excuse I can give, which I think is a valid one, is that for those who do not know I have a book publisher (yes someone is mad enough to actually print my babble). Therefore, when I have been writing, which I am finding increasingly difficult, I am trying to actually piece my book together. The deadline to finish my book is the end of October, so considering how late I always leave things, now I am getting a little frantic. However, I have taken the time out from freaking out and training to fill you in.

 A HUGE topic and achievement I seemed to have glazed completely over and for some reason not blogged about is my efforts in Sweden where I again proudly competed for GB at the World Long Distance Championships. This event was just 4 weeks after Ironman Lanzarote. Agreeing and paying to go was a big commitment as last year it took me 8 weeks to recover from IM Lanzarote and I even had to pull out of a half Ironman 4 weeks after because of it. I was adamant however that this year would be different. I was much fitter and in a better state. This was a true statement and I was feeling great after the Ironman. I was on a high for a while and although did struggle to get back into training as many do after your main race has ended (commonly referred to as post race depression) I was looking forward to competing again. On my final week before traveling to Sweden however, disaster struck. Bella Bayliss, my coach, had given me 3 x 40km Time Trials (TT) on a favourite flat of mine in Lanzarote with some rest inbetween. I hammered the first 40km with Nathan and Lucy (the pocket rocket and a great friend of mine) getting a beep on my Garmin when I had recorded my 'fastest 40k'. We took our next bit easy before picking the pace up again. During the easy phase however an old knee injury just began to resurface. It was a slow dull ache at first so I pushed through then a mere 5km into the TT it was excruciating. Despite my stubborness I had to pull off and head home. Every revolution on my left leg was horrible and I ended up riding home with my right leg, putting no pressure on my left. I was angry and this caused the tears to form "Please not now" I kept muttering to myself. I didn't get much better throughout my final few days and running was even worse. I decided to change my flight so I came back earlier to the UK so I could get a prolotherapy injection, a course of therapy that had helped my knee before, with a sports surgeon at London Bridge Hospital. This is a dextrose solution that is injected into the area of pain which provokes a regenerative tissue response, in affect the same process as PRP (Platelet Rich Plasma) where they withdraw your blood cultivate it and then inject it back in, this is just a made substitute. This is normally done over a course of 3 weeks with 3 injections so whether one would help I had no idea but it was a quick solution to what could be a serious problem. There were a series of chats with Bella during this time where she questioned why I was adamant on competing as the potential damage I could do may jeopardise Kona. If Bella didn't know by then she soon found out how stubborn and head strong I really am. Although I was promising to be honest with myself I kind of knew I was going to compete regardless, I wanted that medal to add to the collection.
 I traveled out to Motala in Sweden with my good friend Aled (a phenomenal young Kona qualifying athlete) and my Welsh Tenby Aces clan including the lovely Nicola and her husband Carlt. As well as that there was Dave another speedy athlete who was also going to Kona, Heather another speed machine and Dr Hiro who was representing Japan. I was so grateful for them letting me join them. I met Nicola when I first trained for Ironman Wales and stayed in the hotel she manages in Tenby. After Wales 2013 when we lost Rosie Nicola, as a lead role in the Tenby Aces triathlon club, made me an honourary member. It was this support that helped over what was a horrific time. We all stayed in a picturesque cottage in the middle of the Swedish countryside and throughout the week we had a great laugh so much so we almost forgot we were there to race!

Our cottage for the week

Not a bad place to be

The GB Tenby Aces gang

 Race day came quick and due to the temperature the 4k swim was reduced to a measly 1500m. This wasn't good news for me, not that I expected to be particularly competitive at the World Championships given the calibre of athletes in my age group anyway especially with my knee injury.

Racking my beauty in transition

My swim time of 27 minutes wasn't anything amazing due to some bad sighting as I was wrongly instructed where to go by a marshal. The bike was 120km split into 3 laps of 40km (you can see why Bella had given me 3 x 40km TT the week before). I absolutely hammered the first lap - hitting an average of 40km an hour - a flat course was completely new to me and I loved racing past my other competitors. I was smiling the whole lap with not too much knee pain even if it was niggling a little. Then on the second lap my knee kept getting worse and worse. I came off the gas and reduced my average speed. I rolled into transition in 3h37 - not too bad at all considering. I knew however that I should pull out - my knee was only going to get worse on the 30km run but while my head told me yes, my heart said no and before I knew it I was out on the HOT run course. This consisted of 3 x 10km's which is a format I normally like but this was a dire affair. The pain was excruciating and I had no idea after 5km how I would complete. After the first lap I knew again I should pull out and even agreed with another competitor I was going to but as they went left to end their race I pulled right to continue onto my second lap...whoops. I wanted my parents so badly, normally gaining some strength from their support in my big races. I had to rely on painkillers the whole way round, not that I felt the benefit. I finished the run in a shocking 3h30 (nearly as long as my bike!). I found Aled had just missed out on a podium so realised we wouldn't be staying for the award ceremony. I just wanted to get my kit and get back. As I picked up my bag I found my phone to contact the others who had long since finished. I then got a text from my Dad saying "Well done on your third place". WHAT?! My immediate thought was there's been a mistake so I called for them to check whether it was right. It sure was and when I caught up with the gang it was clear we were staying for the awards to claim my podium slot. Wow - an unexpected podium at the World Long Distance Championships - is this really my life? How did the kid who avoided the majority of solo sport - particularly running end up here? I felt I didn't deserve it considering my time but you can only race who is there and my bimble was somehow enough. It was a fantastic and surreal feeling being on that stage. The days after consisted of some chill out days in the beautiful calm Sweden with the Tenby gang and my great friend Amy Kilpin, who had a pretty good result herself during the race. We searched for alcohol (something that we found is hard to come by in Sweden with their laws) ate pizza, had a BBQ and pedaloed around the stunning lakes (if I hadn't lost my phone I could've uploaded some pictures of those lovely days). Aside from medals and results this is what racing around the world is really for - to see new places I probably never would and have fun with friends. Before long however, it was time to head back to Lanzarote.

Wow - a bronze in the 20-24 Age group at the Long Distance World Championships

 However, I didn't spend long in Lanzarote. After spending 2 days in the UK talking to various people it was decided I would have 3-4 weeks off for rehab in the UK. It was a hard decision but for the right reasons in the hope that it would help my chances of a pain free race in Kona. The lack of training worried me but I had had a hard couple of years which always involved a race to train for, something that is mentally and physically tiring. This rest could help me more and I had enough endurance training within me for my fitness to come back quickly enough. The time at home with my parents and family was lovely and I got into the way of life in the UK again, even if most of my days were spent watching my favourite show 'Come Dine With Me'. After a month I returned back to Lanzarote where I had left Nathan. I missed him dearly and as you can imagine there was a 'Love Actually' airport greeting upon my arrival. I then spent a further week on holiday with my parents, brother, sister-in-law and niece and nephew down on the other side of the island. It was a lovely trip and so nice to get even closer to my brother and his family.
 Getting back into training after my time off was hard and I doubted whether the time off was actually a hindrance. However, after some words from Bella and others I knew I just had to keep pushing through - it was going to hurt and I couldn't expect to just pick up where I left of. Soon enough I was back on form and had heavy training weeks including half marathons on the treadmill and 5 hour bike rides. Hollie was back and I was loving it! I was nailing my nutrition, losing weight and not drinking (an amazing feat for me).

 Just as my training was going amazingly the anniversary of Rosie's death hit. The Friday before the date I gave up my 10 sober days and had a drink. (Drinking had always shamefully been a comfort thing to me in the UK and with my love of good wine instilled by my Dad I went to it a lot. In the first 8 months of losing Rose I can't think of a night I did not have a drink, unless I was working, and that doesn't just mean a glass of wine). The evening turned from a beautiful one to an absolute meltdown on my behalf. I ended up sobbing on the beach, and by sobbing I mean the type where you can't breathe, almost like a toddlers tantrum. I was hitting things in anger at the injustice I still feel that I will never see Rosie again. Nathan obviously alongside me just held me and let me do what I needed but just trying to stop me from harming myself. When he then followed me into the sea I knew I had the support I needed and knew what I was doing was unfair, it's not nice to see your loved one in so much mental pain and feeling completely useless. However, grief is all consuming, tiring and to some extent extremely selfish. I am lucky however to have the friends around me who, although may not understand, are there for me. It took me the next few days to realise that. Nathan didn't force me to do anything I didn't want to do and Bella said to look after myself first. I didn't want to see anyone and blocked myself off like I used to do, so much so I didn't go out on the group ride on Sunday - preferring to go out on my own. I then watched Nathan play cricket and surrounded myself with the friends I have made there which cheered me up. It made me smile at the life Nathan and I have made for ourselves on this island.
 The day before the 2 year anniversary I was replaying what I would've been doing 2 years previous. On the 8th September, the day we lost Rosie, I wanted to do something, get away and keep myself occupied. Nathan completely understood and we ended up driving the island in search of new vineyards and then exploring parts of the island we didn't know of. We scrambled up a massive volcano where I wrote 'Rose' in stones at the top (it took all my concentration to get back down in one piece fearing I would slip down). We then walked inside a volcano and finished the evening off by wild camping in a remote part of the island. We had a BBQ and a few drinks in Rosie's memory. My Dad instructed me to have a 'smiley day' and remember the memories we have as opposed to the resentment I feel that she is no longer with us. I have an obsession with stars and we couldn't have picked a more perfect spot. The sky was so clear we could see the Milky Way and the amount of stars was truly breathtaking. It was a magical night and Rosie was there with us in my heart and from the pink sky that engulfed us when we arrived made me believe she was watching too.

Our view from the tent

Our home for the night

Chef Nathan doing his duties

Rose was there with us

 Life will never get any easier without Rosie. She has left a mark that can never be removed or replaced and when she left everything changed. She has left a hole no-one can fill. I am reminded everyday she is gone but I can only hope from what I am doing to keep her legacy alive is not only helping myself but making her proud. I also want to say a huge thank you to all the generous donations I have received over the last few weeks, it is so appreciated. I am after all also on this mission to raise money for SUDEP Action to hopefully save lives and spare another family the pain me and my family have been through. It is a pain you would not wish on your worst enemy. I hate asking for money but if you haven't donated and can spare anything please click on my Justgiving link above and donate, I really have pushed so hard to get to where I am now.
 So, I leave for Kona in 13 days now and I am beyond excited. I still can't quite believe I have made it there - it really is the impossible dream and one I am going to live to the fullest. It's my once in a lifetime opportunity and it's been a journey Rosie has taken me on. Expect the tears in Kona! Before I get there however I have another race...the Ironman 70.3 in Lanzarote on the 19th September. I had aimed previously to be competitive in this race and even though I know the course so well as it's my training ground I really have no idea how I will fare here considering my time off and injury. However, one thing that is for sure is that I am a green eyed monster when you put me in race conditions and I have one of the strongest and determined heads there is - so watch out!

Rosie and I as children

Rose and I at school together

Anything is possible if you want it enough

 I awoke the morning of Ironman Lanzarote to the sound of my 4am alarm. I had unusually slept like a log. I pottered around got my kit on, ate some weetabix and was down in transition for 5.30am. As per usual I felt sick whilst walking around transition the battle with my stomach resumes as I trying to fuel myself with food and water for the huge day ahead. I did all the transition rituals; pump tyres, put nutrition on bike and relieve my bike from the racking as it was zip tied on due to the wind the day before. On that note the wind did seem to have died down but it was only 6am and too early to tell anything. Before long I was going for my final toilet trip and putting my wetsuit on. I managed to see my family one final time through the barriers before walking down to the beach.
 The air of anticipation, nerves and excitement always causes a certain calm around area...the calm before the storm. I felt this a lot more this time as I was nervous for Nathan as well as myself this year. He has come such a long way not being able to swim 8 months ago and after all it was me who told him it was possible for him to achieve. It would be the first time I would share an Ironman course with a boyfriend even if I didn't intend to see him until I was on the run. My swim time gained me 30 minutes on him and with my cycling at the level it is I didn't want to see him on the ride. After bumping into some more friendly faces it was time to part.

 Nathan headed for the back of the swim pen whilst I headed to the front. Last year the swim was a nightmare. I had started around the 60min sign and stayed to the left. This error left me with cuts and bruises as I was pushed into the line of buoys. This time I decided to go to the middle-right to avoid the washing machine as much as possible.
 As I entered the pen I had to fight and squeeze as much as I could just to get to the 75min sign. The narrowness of the pen meant we were crammed in like sardines and I physically could not get any closer to the front which I was already angry and upset about as wanted to be in the 65min gang. A friend, Marc, had noticed me and I explained. He suggested I came further to the right with him with the view to overtake people to get where I wanted to be. It was a better option than mine so he put his hand out and pulled me over. I was annoyed but I had no option so had to stop fretting. I ended up speaking to him and another lady called Vicky who I then called pissy Vicky as she had no qualms in telling me she had pissed twice since standing there. The horn sounded and it was the start of Ironman Lanzarote 2015 - it was time to see if my hard work had paid off...

The Swim
 I had hoped that the 500 less entrants from last year would've eased the congestion. No such luck. Lanzarote really does go down as the most brutal swim for the faster swimmers I feel and I did Wales in what seemed like a real storm last year. My decision to go right did enable me however to overtake the people who I should've been in front of on dry land. However, my tactic must've pissed others off as by 400m I had my wetsuit zip pulled down. Shit. Strangely the only Ironman dream/nightmare I had in the weeks before was this exact scenario. The guy who did it got a loud 'You prick' and a kick in the face. I can give whatever I take. The rest of the first lap was me deciding what to do. Do I stop and ask someone to help me do my wetsuit back up and waste 4 minutes and end up behind the ones I overtook again or just suck it up? I decided to look at my time when I exited and assess it. I thought given how slow I felt I was going, the constant battle with competitors and my streamline having been compromised I was on for a slow 37 minutes. I came out in 35 minutes - not bad I thought. I looked around for help as I ran to my next lap but even if I had seen any I think my mind was made up. I was sucking it up. The second lap seemed to go much quicker even if in reality it didn't. I couldn't wait however for it to be over and that thought got me through. 1 hour 12 minutes later I emerged from the water for the final time. I was and am still disappointed with this as considering all the long sets of training my potential was way better. However, considering my bad positioning and my wetsuit being open for the majority I can't complain too much as that would've added a fair few minutes on. At least my wetsuit was quick to get off! I ran out to my transition bag to see the other girls in my age group were still in the water. I shouted 'YES' which got me some looks but I was so chuffed. I stormed through T1 in 5m16 which considering the run up off the beach and the long transition really isn't bad! Despite my nightmare swim I do owe a huge thank you to my sponsors HUUB as even with an open back I still felt comfortable in my second skin.

The Bike

Racing around El Golfo

 This was the discipline I was looking forward to. I knew the route off by heart. I knew how to push and when, I had done it countless times. The trick with this course is not to push hard too soon, there is a lot of climbing all the way through to 120km. The exit out of Carmen was a little different to last years however. We would be going along the highway with no wind protection for a good 8km - it wouldn't take long to see if the winds had picked up. It didn't even take me to the highway to realise they had. This was going to be a long painful day on the bike. I saw Bella at around 4km and she shouted a mantra I used the whole day "Be patient, be strong". Be patient really played to the brutal wind as that can really mentally get you down and frustrated and be strong just speaks for itself. Along the first 10km the majority of people were diagonal on their bikes as the crosswinds were truly awful. My new 60mm rims were really catching the wind and it was only my confidence and bike ability that kept me up. How people were coping with 80mm, 90mm and discs is completely beyond me.
 I kept to my plan throughout the race really. I pushed hard going downhill and chicked more surpised men than I sought possible when on the highway to El Golfo. I was pushing hard early on but I needed to take my advantages when I had them and as climbing isn't my strongest I had to use the downs. I saw my friend JP on this stretch and played a great game of cat and mouse along that fast section. As I exited El Golfo I saw one girl in my age group just starting the 11km loop...you've got this Hollie I thought.
 Timanfaya climb was into the wind which just made me feel like I was going backwards. However with that conquered and not losing the pack I was in I pushed on.

Climbing Timanfaya, fire mountain, and still smiling

 It was around here that every swig of my gels made me wretch and feel like I wasn't actually stomaching it. I pushed it down to La Santa and got some amazing cheers when there. Shortly after I began to feel rough. The road from Famara to Teguise is named 'the oven' as although there was relief from the no wind it heats up funnily enough like an oven. Surprisingly it wasn't the heat that seemed to get me here I just seemed to have run out of steam. I was climbing efficiently and strongly in the TT position during The Volcano triathlon on this stretch but that just seemed impossible. The thought of any fuel was making me feel sick and I had a hell of a lot of climbing to go...in fact I had only just started the hardest part of the day. Once out of the oven I hit the halfway mark and was cheered up by seeing my family even if all I wanted to do was get off, cry and hug my mum. I as always smiled through the pain so not to worry them, it could be a long day for them if the few seconds I see them I say I feel rough. Climbing through Teguise was phenomenal, I had an absolutely amazing amount of support from my friends. Even that nearly made me cry! I can't thank you all enough.

Climbing through Teguise

  The next section was the hardest bit. It was a 17km stretch of climbing into some brutal wind. It was a tough slog all the way to the top of Haria where I also found out you can be sick on a bike! My new plan was to just put my head down and plod - when I got to Mirador I would make my time up. This was were I saw Twitter mate Pete come past me looking too damn fresh! My hopes of a 6h30 bike flew away but I had to get myself back on track mentally. I knew once I had got to Mirador, the last major climb at 120km, I would push as hard as I could with or without fuel to get home. I stuck to water until then and when I felt flushed I had some nutrition and did just that. I flew 89kmph down that hill and stuck and pushed my way back on the TT position along the highway to Tahiche as if I was training on it, hitting a steady 36kmph average. I passed pretty much everyone who had got me climbing including Pete. I was heading home! My mental and physical state stayed up all the way until I made it home. In the final 5km one guy I had been cat and mousing the whole ride stated "Bloody hell girl, Rosie would be so proud"...and that is the only moment I actually cried that day.
 Coming back along the highway and back into transition I was determined to make more time up however after a little wobble decided to come off the TT bars. Thank god I did as 3 lorries in quick succession on the other side of the road coupled with the 40mph crosswind nearly wiped me off in one flick. Again had I not had my bike handling skills or been on the bars that would've been game over for me. It's hardly surprising that around 350 pulled out on the bike leg!
 The smile on my face when that bike was over was huge. 7h09 was not what I wanted but considering at just over halfway I was looking at a 7h30 and managed to claw back 20minutes in the final 60km I was pretty pleased. Furthermore that wind was something else and Bella was estimating 40-45mins ontop of peoples time. The best bit though was that I was still in the lead in my age group and Nathan hadn't passed me. I had a long T2 of 6m19 as my friend in the suncream tent forced me to sit the hell down. In hindsight I think I needed it!

The Run
  I was seriously concerned about the run due to my tight calves. I knew they were going to hurt it was just how bad and when would the pain would start and ultimately when the cramps would kick in. The pain started almost instantly which pissed all over my good mood coming off the bike. The support coming down the strip however was mind blowing.

Running down the strip

It really was testament to the friends and supporters I have made on this island and I was truly blessed they were out to see me and my fellow competitors race. I saw my dad at the first aid station who gave me my requested Snickers. I appreciated the effort as this was normally my fail safe but I still couldn't stomach solid food. By 3km I was limping and had Helle a competitor and friend from La Santa wrap her arm around me and ask me what was wrong. At the second aid station I saw Julia and Georgia Abbott and their support throughout the whole day was nothing short of amazing. They had all the volunteers chanting my name every time I passed. The first lap was a half marathon - 10.5km out past the airport and back. I had managed to push the pain to the back of my mind and focus. I wasn't hitting my desired 6min kilometres but I was running. I saw Nathan at around 14km and we stopped for an embrace. The lack of movement then resulted in my most romantic show of affection yet. The piss I had been unable to let go of for hours came streaming out. As Nathan was expressing how proud he was of me I was casually pissing myself. Classy bird me. I have to say however it was one of the most painful experiences I have ever encountered as the chaffing around my arse made it feel like I was pissing razorblades.
 I did the 21km in 2h25 - not ideal but I only had two 10km loops left. It was a great way to mentally break the marathon down. At the 16km mark I had seen one of the girls in my age group - I was 9km ahead of her and the next was 11km behind. I needed this push and when I saw Bella at 17km I shouted "I'm number 1". Her reply, "That's great BUT you still have a way to go, if you start walking it could be over. Stay focused, be patient..." to which I shouted "BE STRONG!". The rest of the run was actually a run and I was only walking through the occasional aid stations to either relieve myself and then throw water over me or to actually get some liquids in. I was in complete tunnel vision. My mind didn't wander and I stayed focused. I didn't let my form falter, in fact I have had many supporters tell me since finishing I looked strong and consistent throughout the marathon which was amazing to hear. The only blip I had was on the last lap when my calves cramped up which caused my legs to buckle and me fall down. After some painful stretches against a lamp post I carried on pushing on. I had a lead of 8km on the number 2 in my age group and on my final 3km shouted to her as she passed the other way "You're going to Kona" whilst I knew I was getting number 1 on the podium.

On the final 2km of my last lap still smiling and somehow running!

 As I neared the finish line the cheers as they were throughout were amazing and I thanked everyone I could. I saw my niece, Amber, and nephew, Tom with my parents ready to run down the finishing chute with me. They went sprinting off as if they were doing Ironkids again and had to reign them back in. Crossing that line with my niece and nephew was just amazing and a poignant moment considering who I race for. I hope Rosie was watching us cross that line together.

Running down the finishing chute with my niece and nephew

I finished in a PB of 13h29 and first in my age group. I was 2 hours 27 minutes quicker than last year - I can finally say I have put my demons to bed in Lanza and had the wind not been so bad I know full well I would've gone sub 13 hours. I was now a four times Ironman at 24. What a day!

 I then ventured back out on the course to see Nathan finish. An hour and 10 minutes later he came running from the distance. I took his hand and we ran in together. Another hugely proud moment for me. What an amazing achievement.

Now an Ironcouple

Some pictures need no words

 We had some dinner and with medals and finishers tshirts on with pride (Aled joined too). My mum said it had been the best one to spectate as I had finished in the light for the first time! I was happy I wore my sunglasses to the end because I needed them not just because I was about to cry or just trying to cover as much face as possible!

Aftermath

 The morning after Nathan and I drove Aled to Club La Santa to see if he would get rolldown for Kona as he came second in his age group in an epic time of 10h54, an incredible talent considering he is only 21! Unfortunately it was not his day. I have to admit I did have great pleasure in hearing my name being called but having to decline as I had already qualified. I made one other girl very happy and it was by far one of the best moments in my Ironman career. Knowing I have qualified as number 1 in my own right really is one of the most amazing feelings ever. Considering some of the comments I have got for going to Kona based on my shape it really was a massive middle finger.  This was further cemented when I got on the no1 spot on the podium and was awarded my age group trophy. Hearing the words "Here is your AG 18-24 female CHAMPION" with my name shortly after was truly spectacular. My dad expressing his pride and hugging me was oh so worth the pain. I thought when I was up there, "What do you do when you have achieved all you set out to?". The answer that night was to celebrate with alcohol and dance the night away. Now I have had time to reflect I believe you will find something else to satisfy your wildest dreams and to challenge and better yourself whether that be as an athlete or as a person. The experiences, the friends, the journey I have been on is truly amazing and that journey is what makes and changes you; "If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you". I have achieved my wildest dreams but there are always more dreams to be had. My journey to now all started with an 'impossible' dream to one day become an Ironman. To reflect on what I have achieved is almost unbelievable. It is better than a dream. Anything really is possible if you want it bad enough!

This will have pride of place at home

One of my post Ironman celebrations

A celebratory BBQ with Tri Activ friends and my coach Bella

The lead up to Ironman Lanzarote 2015

 So yet again I have seemingly forgotten I have a blog. A fair bit has happened since I wrote my last entry however the biggest event has to be Ironman Lanzarote which shockingly was over a week ago. How time flies! Due to my ability to babble I have put it into two parts. This is the lead up to the race and then the next will be my race report.

The pink decorated hall before the event

 Five weeks before my biggest race of the year, thus far, I returned back to England to see my family. This was to celebrate my youngest nephew and godson being christened and help organise and attend a charity ball for what would have been Rosie's 21st birthday. With my bike in tow meaning I could still get some vital training in I headed back to the UK. I can admit in the 2 weeks I was back my training was hit and miss. I ended up doing so much organising for the charity ball it was impossible to cram much in. This said I did get some worthwhile sessions in when I could and Bella amazingly understood completely. In perspective all I do within triathlon is for Rosie and ensuring the ball was a success by raising as much money as possible was so important to me and my family. We ended up raising £16,000 for SUDEP (Sudden Unexpected Death in Epilepsy) Action which is truly amazing.

My sister and I at the ball

 It was easy to fit back into the UK way of life and be minutes away from my family particularly my sister who yearns for me to move back. Nathan and I found it tough to leave.


 However, once arriving back on Lanzarote soil it was time to focus again. Whilst in the UK I turned my attention to an ongoing issue that I thought had resurfaced since being in Lanzarote; my asthma. I had previously had this taken off my medical records as I tried hard to beat it and wanted to go into the Army (it has to be off your records for a period of time to get in). With this not being a desire anymore I had to do what was best for me and get an inhaler. I hated the fact I had to do this as begrudged having to rely on them as I used to but I was really starting to suffer. In fact one of the first things my mum said to me was "you sound wheezy" (mum's really do know best). This alone was enough to get my arse down to the doctors. I went back to the rock with the security blanket of my inhaler - no more sleepless nights being unable to breathe! However, I was scared of over using it.
 Two days after landing I had an Olympic triathlon, The Volcano, based at Club La Santa. This was a perfect time to test the waters for 3 weeks time where I would be doing the Ironman. The morning of the race I felt shocking. I had used my inhaler all night and come the morning couldn't even chew a piece of granola without having to stop to breathe. I cried on the balcony to myself. Nathan seeing me struggling mentally and physically told me I just needed to accept that I something was triggering my asthma and I had to get over that and myself. The words were tough and needed and accompanied by a sympathetic hug which made it a little better. Since then the inhaler has not left my side and it's something I am just going to have to get used to.
 The Volcano triathlon was nothing to write home about. I managed a sub 3 hours in 2h49 which I was pleased about but in hindsight was disappointed in my bike split of 1h24. The route although tough (it is Lanzarote!) took in roads I know so well and I felt like I was pushing strong especially by the amount of people I overtook but I knew I could have done better. When I saw that Nathan was 7 minutes quicker than me on that split I was even more disappointed as although he is a strong cyclist I shouldn't have let him have that much. I did have to put things into perspective though as I knew I wasn't on top form before the race but I am not one to make excuses. I put it behind me and continued training to Bella's tough plan which I trusted.

At the finish of The Volcano triathlon with Nathan and friend Barry

 On the 12th May I traveled to Barcelona to work with RaceForce at the 70.3. These are a triathlon bike transport and accommodation organisers. My role as 'race host' meant I was to be the fountain of knowledge to all customers. I would be doing airport transfers, swim and bike recces as well as be on hand for any questions. It was a completely new and exciting experience for me to be that side of an event and the start of me gaining knowledge for my future. The week was busy and great fun even if training, again, was hard to fit in. I loved meeting new people within triathlon and I actually enjoyed being on the other side even if my emotions were on high alert! When spectating the swim I was an emotional wreck imagining what I would be doing in a weeks time.

Watching the sunrise in Barcelona as the triathletes got ready to race

 I was however ready to come home after being away probably because I knew I had something big to conquer. I flew back Monday 18th and was thrown into the excitement of race week - it was a mere 6 days till race day! From this moment on I didn't stop. Nathan and I moved to Puerto Del Carmen as soon as I arrived back. I unpacked my bike which I took to Barcelona and the week just flew by.

 My parents arrived on the Tuesday to support me. On the Wednesday I went over to La Santa with Nathan and Welshman friend Aled to register and get a massage. It was during this hour that I found out I had compartment syndrome in my calves. This basically means there was building of pressure within my muscles which was causing me some pretty horrible pain which I had tried, and failed, to ignore. Dave, an epic cyclist and brutal masseuse, was not surprised when I told him I was in agony when trying to run over the last week. He did the best he could by massaging them and said the only thing I could do to help was not to run until race day and then strap my leg with Kinesio tape and wear compression sleeves (something I have never done but thankfully they came in pink!). Whilst hearing this bad news ProBike were checking my bike over and putting the latest toys put on my bike. These were my 60mm ceramic bearing Fast Forward wheels (a huge thank you to FFWD for your support on my way to Kona). Not only did they look damn sexy (particularly so as my dad spend hours making them pink for me) but they were sure to help me during the race.

My sexy wheels

 I also managed to get some much needed pampering in on Wednesday by having my nails glammed up and as tradition states had my hair dyed pink in memory of Rose.

On Thursday we took some more friends over to La Santa to register and met with some triathlon friends for some much needed banter to chill us out. (Today was finally the day I met Pete who I had been chatting to on Twitter for nearly 2 years).

Some of my great triathlon friends :)

My niece, Amber, and nephew, Tom, also arrived that evening to support me. Before I knew it it was Friday, the day before the race. My nerves weren't as bad as they had been before and I felt pretty calm on the lead up. However, the day before opens completely new emotions. The reason as to why I was racing became all to clear and I spent the whole day fighting tears.
 Amber and Tom were staying with Nathan and I and Friday morning I took them swimming in Puerto Del Carmen in preparation for their IronKids in the afternoon. This was their first time in open water let alone sea and it was a choppy day thanks to the relentless wind which hadn't let up after the scorching 46 degree heat the week before. I was also secretly trying to reassure myself it'll die down by tomorrow.

 The kids seemed to love their time sea swimming, even if it was a bit chilly without a wetsuit! I know they particularly enjoyed how clear the water was and we spent some time looking at the fish which then shocked them as we saw a huge ray casually swimming a mere 2 metres away. An awesome experience for them.
 After some breakfast it was time to sort my kit and as normal this is where my triathlon OCD kicks in as I lay all my kit out on the bed and then triple check I have everything before packing it away. I was amazed how much my kit had developed to having a hint of pink on everything! I also have to make note to how special and significant my race number was. The number 60 was the same number I was when I competed in my first Ironman in Wales in 2013 - the day we lost Rosie. I could only hope this was a good omen.

Triathlon OCD

Ready to go

Time didn't seem to be a luxury we had so once I had checked over everything it was time to head down to transition to rack our stuff. Upon walking into transition Nathan and I were bumping into so many people and doing what we do best...chatting! I just love the pre race excitement/nerves racking brings. The atmosphere was electric! I also loved how much attention my bike was getting!

Walking into transition (no-one was surprised I was one of the first)

Transition pose with Nathan and my great friend Aled

 There was one thing on everyone's minds however and it was the wind. It was truly awful even by Lanzarote standards. People were putting their bikes on the racks as per normal by the saddle and they were being blown around. When I tried to do mine it nearly took flight. I stood there holding it for a while unsure what to do until Nathan got me some zip ties and a truly awful looking professional haha (number 49) fixed my bike to the racking. This massively put my mind at rest. I spoke to one of the girls in my age group who took great delight when I told her I had already qualified for Kona meaning even if she came second Kona was hers for the taking. I still wanted that number one spot though!
 Once we eventually made it back out of transition it was time to watch Amber and Tom do the Ironkids. I had a huge amount of pride watching them compete especially as they also raised £636 for SUDEP Action. Both smashed their runs (the swim was taken out as the sea was just too choppy, the right decision in my eyes). Tom said after he wouldn't do an Ironman but Amber said one day she would like to.

My little champions

I'm a lucky girl with these as my family

 The night before the big day we went for the obligatory Italian carb load with my family and some friends. Then it was off to bed...

Hard work pays off

 I haven't written a blog in what seems like ages and this isn't because nothing has happened worth writing about. Maybe I've just got lazy or just been enjoying Lanzarote a little bit too much. Whatever excuse I am trying to blag here I apologise for the delay. Here are two of the most exciting things to have happened recently. My new bike and getting a half Ironman PB...

 By far the most exciting thing to have happened since I last blogged was the long awaited arrival of my newest love; my bike. This really was a patience testing wait. I had decided pretty much immediately after Challenge Paguera in October I needed a new TT bike (needed being the necessary word there). My goals were bigger and me and the pink beauty just weren't getting along anymore. I spoke to my dad that night after my disappointing race and expressed my woes. I had some inheritance money and decided I would use it on the best bike money could get. I made some messages to Maria and Seb. Maria is the owner of Pro Bike in Lanzarote and Seb is the mechanic there, and definitely the best mechanic I know - what he doesn't know about bikes isn't worth knowing. With this said he knew the ins and outs of the bikes at the present and the future. The one that got many bike geeks excited was the Scott Plasma 5. It's new technology designed by Simon Smart was destined to be the next best thing (only then confirmed with the Scott sponsored professional Sebastian Keinle winning Kona on one). There were of course tiny things that made it more aerodynamic making it the next speed machine (I'll include a link here to those who want to read more as opposed to me babbling to everyone). Although I didn't understand every gadget or milimetre changed from its predecessor it sounded amazing and I was won over with Seb's enthusiasm and the great write ups it was receiving. I may not be able to do it complete justice with my technique but I would definitely have no excuses. I text Maria from Mallorca to order me one in. The only gutting realisation was that I would have to wait 6 months for it. However, it was decided that was a price worth paying.
 Shortly after Valentines Day my new baby had arrived. It took a day to detach it from bubble wrap and be assembled. Driving to pick my new bike was so exciting - I couldn't get there soon enough and probably pissed Nathan off as I was jumping around in the car. Well it was love at first sight and damn did she get some looks from the customers in the shop (and still does wherever I ride her to date). I didn't feel worthy but she was a beautiful bike - a true black beauty. The integrated headset with speed fill water bottle and fuel system although seemingly bulky is designed fantastically.  This alone when full is said to make you 7% faster.

Integrated headset

Integrated fuel and water headset

With my new pride and joy

 To top it all off I was the only non pro worldwide to have this bike. WOW. I slept soundly that night with the sweet knowledge I would be riding my new toy in the morning. If Batman would ride a bike this would be it, so she was soon aptly named the 'Holliemobile'. The day I was due to ride her happened to be a day with some of the worst winds the island has seen in ages - up to 80kmph. Many would deem this too dangerous to ride in (a local triathlon was also cancelled because of this). Nothing however was stopping me from getting out. Nathan and I decided the only safe place to ride would be up Tabayesco - one of the hardest climbs on the island. This is a regular route for me. It's 20km to the bottom along a highway that always has a brutal headwind. Then it is a 9.5km climb to the top which ascends 600m of wind protection (meaning a sweaty affair) finishing with 6 lovely hairpins. My plan had me doing a 3 and a half hour ride so with Tabayesco's climb being the only place with wind protection we took it in turns into the headwind to get there and then did it 4 brutal and sweaty times. We ran out of water at the top of the fourth time and then bombed it back the final 30km. This is no mean feat to some (the record is a mind numbing 17 times) but to me this showed my dedication to my goal and determination to ride my new bike. And oh wow was it worth it. Like a best friend we just clicked and it was a new love story. I absolutely adore her and truly belong on a TT bike. I felt comfortable and felt my hard work beginning to click in.

The first time up Tabayesco - looking slightly fresher than the last

On a bike ride recently up Mirador Del Rio - can never tire of this view (of course I mean the bike!)

 Shortly after getting my bike I decided to have a Retul bike fit. Big thanks to Judith Brand at Dr J Coaching and Bike Fitting. I made all the recommended changes to my set up which brought me forward and raised my TT bars and we clicked even more. The power I was producing became more efficient and the back pain I always got reduced (although I also have to thank Dave Muir's brutal massage for this too). However, my first big race of the year was where the truth of my training would show. This was called the Tri122 and was a half Ironman distance event, a distance I have never been too keen on. This would be good practice for Ironman Lanzarote and as it was literally on my doorstep in Costa Teguise I would be stupid not to compete.

Picking up my race number with friends

As always laying my kit out so not to forget anything - can you see a colour scheme?

 My Dad came out to support me and decided to bring my ever proud grandad too. I was ecstatic to see my Dad. It had been 3 months and I was super excited to give my Dad a hug (I have missed my family a hell of a lot the past few months). I still had training to do around my Dad's visit including a swim, bike, run the day before the race where my quads felt horribly tight. This feeling didn't disappear on the morning of the event. I put it down to nerves while my friends (namely Nathan, Bart and Sam) jeered it was me getting the excuses in early. Excuse it was not.
 This event was also Nathan's first triathlon and his first big race to see whether his endurance training (most importantly his swimming) had paid off. Racking our bikes in transition at 6.30am held the same nervous excitement all triathlons do, even more so because this was a longer event. This meant that by 7am the 3 portaloos were almost brimming with nervous shits...lovely.

With Nathan on race morning in transition

Me with my Dad and Grandad ready to swim

 I had made some pretty loose predictions to my Dad just so he knew when to expect me. I estimated a 35 minute swim (upon seeing the course which I could see from looking was longer than 2k) made it 40minutes (it ended up being 2.6km). I said a 3h30-3h45 bike which seems very generous but it was a hilly Lanzarote course and an average 2 hour run. The 8am start of course turned into a Canarian 8.15 start and the women were set off first. Considering there were only about 13 of us this meant it was a lonely swim for the most part and I ended up not being able to draft, maintaining the lead of the chasing pack - damn. I exited the swim in 42 minutes, nothing to be impressed about but it was a longer swim and close to my estimation. My time to shine was now the bike.

On a mission leaving transition

I have seen some huge improvements during training on the bike and I only have Lanzarote, its tough terrain and wind to thank for that. Beating Nathan up one of the toughest climbs on the island whilst training was a sure sign of that (although I of course haven't rubbed that in much haha). The thought of him chasing me through the race also kept me pushing on strong. From the moment I got on the bike I was overtaking people. My legs almost immediately burned but I gritted my teeth into the headwinds and up the brutal climbs. I'm still no speed machine going up but I get up respectably and when I hit the downs I fly. I made this point to Nathan yesterday who is still a better climber than me (although not by a huge amount now). However, the speed at which I come downhill and can maintain on the flats makes up for it as I still came in before Nathan overall. In time if I can improve my ascending even more then I may have something good! Coming from someone who was scared shitless of going downhill the confidence I have gained is almost unrecognisable. Going down Mirador I hit 80kmph/50mph - even cars were having to pull over. I came out of the water as sixth woman and throughout the bike was ticking off the women (and many men I may add). I pushed a huge effort on the final 20km. Nathan had also not passed me by this point which made me wonder if he made it out of the water as I really had expected him to pass me. I was overjoyed when I saw him on the other side of the road as I was going into the final 5km and he had the last 15km along the highway to complete. I really was having a banging ride if he was only there! I rolled into transition in 3 hours to shocked cheers from my Dad (thankfully he was there early!). As I was dismounting I kept repeating to him "3 hours Dad, 3 hours!". If ever my Dad's face could show pride I believe it was now. As I ran out of transition friends from Tri Activ looked happily suprised shouting "You're third woman, amazing!".

Climbing up a tough climb out of Orzola still smiling!

 I knew if there were any decent runners even 5-10 minutes behind me I would have no chance of maintaining my podium. Running is my nemesis. I'm not shit but I'm not great. 10km/h is an achievable and good plod for me which isn't the slowest but it's not going to win any awards. All I wanted really was to get a 2 hour half marathon as this is the pace I wanted to aim for over Ironman Lanzarote. The race atmosphere was fantastic, thank you to all who were supporting it really makes a difference. Friends lined the course screaming encouragement and it was great to see so many friendly faces on the course, including congratulations and advice from Bella. Husband and wife speed machines Daniel and Michi Herlbauer who are also coached by Bella were as smiley and encouraging as always despite their speed. Both gave me a high five as I came beaming out of transition. Daniel went on to come second and Michi was first woman. The run was a 3 lap affair and was on an undulating coastal path. As per Lanzarote it was damn hot. I held my pace pretty consistent but wasn't able to push beyond my standard 6 minute kilometres. By the second lap the woman behind me came whizzing past. The run as normal was not an enjoyable affair. I was getting frustrated with my speed (or lack thereof), my stomach was cramping and my back began to hurt. Seeing Nathan and lovely friend Sam each lap was a massive boost though. I eventually completed the run in 2h04.
 I crossed the line in 5h49. A sub 6 hour half Ironman on a tough Lanzarote course and a huge PB. I was so chuffed. My personal gains are insane. In October my half Ironman time was a shocking 6h40. In 6 months I have taken off 51 minutes. The bike course in Mallorca although not flat, was in comparison to Lanzarote and I knocked 21 minutes off. These improvements just wow me and make me proud of what I have achieved whilst training in Lanzarote. Hard work really does pay off!

So pleased to cross that line!

 I watched Sam come in shortly after and then ran across the finish line with Nathan in an amazing 6h11 (yes he got chicked by his girlfriend haha - again I haven't rubbed this in much). Considering he was a non swimmer 8 months before and this was his first triathlon I was super proud. I was ecstatic but not feeling the best. We had all planned to go for a celebratory meal that night but I spent the rest of the night on the toilet. I couldn't even make it to the awards ceremony to collect my age group prize. Bella and I chatted about what could've been the cause and although I blame it on my breakfast choice she also explained that sometimes it is the downside of racing hard and had been in the same situation many times after her races. It would now be a case of eliminating foods to get the right nutrition (the fourth discipline in endurance racing). Had this event of been a full I wouldn't have got through!

So proud to see Nathan finish - the smiles say it all

 It's now 40 days until Ironman Lanzarote and I am getting excited. My run worries me but all I can do now is keep myself going and make sure that my aimed time of 4h20 is possible by getting my legs used to the grinding. Aside from that I want to enjoy the day. I know many people competing and will see Nathan and Sam become Ironmen. As always I will have my parents to support me and I am determined to thank them for their constant support whilst I'm here by making them proud. I'm not going to lie I want a PB and I want to podium. Writing that may be a bad omen but hopefully that will push me more. I know sometimes the pressure is what causes failure but I really want this. From all I have learnt from Bella in my training her mental attitude and determination is another. She told me "I was never the most talented but I wanted it more than the others". I really really want it, for me, for Rose, for my parents, for my nieces and nephews, for my sister. I have 6 weeks of training left and I need to make them count!

It's supposed to be fun

 Ever had days when you just CBA (can't be arsed)? I am not just referring to the athletes out there but to everyone. Whether it's going for a run, cleaning the house or shopping. Well, I have just had a whole week of it. I can safely say it has been one of the flattest weeks since moving to Lanzarote. Everything seemed like too much trouble and I would rather have hidden in the flat than venture outside. It all started on Friday the 13th (ironically).

 I was up until 4am having one of my 'moments'. I was crying so hard about the unfairness of life and losing Rosie I couldn't breathe. I felt the depression I was swirling into when back the UK trying to swallow me up again and the fear of this happening scared me. I felt like the mask of 'happy Hollie' that I put on daily was starting to break. More shockingly I wanted out of Ironman and ungratefully wanted my journey to Kona to be over. I believed it was too big for me and defined me more than I wanted it to. Moreover, I was angry - I didn't choose this life. Rosie's death took me on a life I didn't expect and I wanted her and my old life back. I did not want to be in this position, to have lost someone I expected to share my life with. Things always seem worse at 4am but I felt completely alone in my emotions.  The mind is a complete minefield, no-one knows how another is feeling.

The back of my custom Trisuit

 However, come 8am, after 4 hours sleep I was confused and exhausted. I was greeted in the morning with breakfast in bed seeing as it was Valentines Day (thanks Nathan). Shortly after that however I had to pay attention to my first triathlon of the year which I was competing in a few hours later. (This was however a great platform to show off my new custom kit). I was however mentally and physically exhausted. Amy (my triathlon partner in crime) did a sterling job of keeping me company and 'high' whilst we prepared for the Sprint triathlon in Playa Blancha we really couldn't be bothered to do. We kept reminding ourselves this is supposed to be fun so that's what we tried to do. The race isn't worth a full race report however I managed a PB of 1h18 with choppy seas and a chain that decided to come off 3 times mid race, affecting my overall time by about a minute. This was frustrating but not the end of the world. First race, not my distance, bad nights sleep etc. The finish was greeted with Tapas and beer, of which Amy and I had both. I loved the race and it was great to see the TriActiv kids do so well. I believed it was the kick I needed. 

In action - thanks for the shot James Mitchell

 However the next week left me deflated and lacking motivation. Motivation doesn't just get given in abundance. You have to work for it sometimes. I have Rose as my inspiration however sometimes the bigger picture of why I am doing what I am doing creeps in. My legacy will never bring what I truly want back. With all this negativity I will thankfully let you know that I think I am starting to get the Hollie that everyone knows and loves back. I spent the week thinking a lot about peoples' Ironman journey's and how they let it control their lives. I made a promise to myself that I will never do that. Why punish yourself for something that really is meant to be fun? Take the pressure off and enjoy the ride. I have had many people reiterate this to me this week - I have done what I set out to and proved my point, I am now a Kona qualifying athlete and admit I have still not let that sink in. I need to enjoy this fact. I love the atmosphere and community I am within in triathlon but it does not define who I am. I will never be pro, never do I want to be, so why do some take the thrill out of what is, after all, only a hobby? I want to enjoy my life, my food, my drink and therefore not change who I fundamentally am. This said I owe a lot to Ironman. Throwing myself into Ironman and training was a focus that brought me out of the hardest times of my life. It was and still is my coping mechanism to make me feel alive when mentally I feel dead. My only reservation over some is find that balance in life and never lose sight of who YOU are and always be true to yourself.
 It has taken a week of pep talks and analysing to realise that although this isn't the life I had planned (on a side thought what is planned?) it is the one that has been given to me and I need to utilise it. It also took a good 2 hour ride with the AK (Amy Kilpin) to realise that I am pretty damn lucky to be living and training where I am. Sure the wind was hellbent on pushing us off but it was a beautiful Sunday morning and we were doing a nice 45km ride in the sun. What more could a triathlete want? We spoke on that ride about how quick a year has gone and whilst reflecting on that I realised how much my circumstances have changed. I am now in a new amazing relationship and seriously happy within it, got an amazing coach, amazing friends, amazing family (even though I miss them daily) and am living in a triathletes paradise in Lanzarote.

 This was not the life I wanted but then life is all about taking the ups with the downs and much like motivation you can't be 'on it' all the time; you have to ride the waves. I have learned to accept this. I believe I am on the earth for a reason and as Rosie can't live hers anymore, I'll do mine to the best of my ability and push my limits daily. I still have another 8 months until my 'A' race in Kona and there will probably be many more of these dips. My crash days and the days I don't want to move from the gripping grief will never pass. However, with the support I have I can make my road to Kona a journey to never forget.
 Tomorrow is a new day and the start of a new week and a new training plan. This will see me doing the hardest training I have ever done with a whopping 27 hours of hard work. 'Nothing great is easy' is a quote that rings so true. A fresh start and clean slate. Kona I'm coming.

When it rains it pours

 The name of this blog makes reference to a few things. Firstly it is a reminder that you can never predict Lanzarote weather and the extremity of it. When it is hot it is sweltering, when it is windy its a gale and when it rains, well...(as the blog title suggests) it pours as Amy, Nathan and I found out when on a 3 hour bike ride the other day. We left in beautiful sunshine with Amy stating "This is a perfect day for a ride". An hour in the clouds had descended but we continued on. When the rain began to spit we turned around hoping we would out ride it. We had no such luck and then got absolutely sodden (we however weren't like some who hid in the petrol station!). I personally have never cycled in such awful conditions and struggled to see when descending as the hail was battering my eyes.
 The other reason for my blog title is that whenever I seem to make changes they all happen at once and happen very quickly. For this I will back track and explain this in more detail. My previous and rather emotional blog explained about the smallness of Lanzarote and some of the negativity I have received whilst being here. This has not been the majority but it is said that the negative comments are the ones you seem to remember over the positive. In all honesty it did make me question my move and by the end of my first 2 months in Lanzarote I was ready to go home and see my family. I flew back to the UK on the 23rd December and was staying for 3 weeks to celebrate the festive period and celebrate my friends wedding (the first of my friends to be getting married). I'm not going to go into too much detail into what I got up to in the UK as much of it was getting a little bit too merry chilling with my amazing family and seeing friends in London.

My Dad and I

What was lovely is that Nathan managed to come out for two weeks of it and we had a lovely time eating and drinking together and meeting the family. It made us both put perspective on what we want in life now and in the future. The main thing it made me realise is that England is where I eventually want to end up. Lanzarote is a beautiful place and where my journey continues for now but being a family person I want to end up living back in my home country in the future. It meant a lot for me to know this and also further cemented me and Nathan. With us both realising our future ambitions we went back to Lanzarote after my friends wedding with a little bit of sadness. It was hard to say goodbye to my family and again tears were shed. I wouldn't be returning until April which I worked out would be the longest time I had ever been out of the country for. The UK after all will always be home.

Ice skating with Nathan in winter wonderland - Hyde Park

 However, I also went back to Lanzarote with a much needed focus. I had had my off season and I had had an indulgent holiday in the UK (where I disgustingly did no exercise AT ALL!). This self loathing of myself gave me the push to get my arse into gear. This is MY year. I have a once in a lifetime opportunity to race in Kona and I want to do it justice to my best ability. I also am more determined than ever to do Ironman Lanzarote this May well. I want to finish in a time I am proud of, mainly so that I never have to do that brutal race ever again! I messed up last year, now it's time to do me and my parents proud as well as prove my naysayers wrong. Kona is my focus this year and that will never change but Lanza will be the confidence boost I need to push throughout the year until the 10th October.
 This new attitude was also based on me wanting to be settled and I had a plan to get that. I wanted to move out of the area I was in (El Cuchillo) as the negativity of La Santa was getting me down (I'm really not going to delve on this any more but I was ready to go). So day 2 of being back on the rock I began looking at new flats. I had decided during December I wanted to make the transition to Sands Beach in Costa Teguise. I wrote a blog recently on the amazing work that 16 x Ironman champion and now ex pro Bella Bayliss is doing there with the Triathlon club there; Tri Activ. This has a heavy influence on getting the generation into triathlon something that I fully support and respect. Even with the short time I spent there last year I got a good vibe from Sands. As a resort they are more welcoming and inclusive to all as opposed to some of the pretentiousness that surrounds Club La Santa. (I am aware that this view on La Santa will be opposed by many people but I am just being honest about the vibe it gives off to me whilst living here. I have however made some friends from there and this is nothing bad about them personally). I also felt that a move to Costa Teguise would offer me more in terms of lifestyle due to it being a bigger town. After all although I am taking training seriously there needs to be a balance in life to enjoy what I do and get the rewards. It would also mean I could be more settled in an environment I am comfortable in which could only help me mentally and aid my training. Another thing that was discussed in the UK was getting a coach so that I have a proper structure that is actually going to get me faster (which of course is the ultimate goal). Considering I wanted to move to Costa Teguise and Sands Beach it therefore made sense to contact Bella Bayliss and ask for her help as a coach.     

 I think anyone who lives in Lanzarote can vouch that things happen slowly over here, it's the Canarian way. However, my recent move is probably the fasted anything has happened over here. I viewed a flat on Wednesday at 4pm (a day after landing back), decided it was the one and then had the keys Thursday morning. I was not moving in alone, Nathan had decided this move was right for him too to train himself and support me. After some manic packing we spent our first night in the new apartment on Friday. Already I feel settled in my new surroundings that I have made my space. We have a beautiful view of the sea and are a 5 minute walk to Sands Beach one way, a one minute walk to a supermarket and a 3 minute walk to a selection of restaurants, cafe's and bars. It really is perfect.

The view from the balcony

To top all this off I now have Bella as my coach and her strength can only get me stronger. Whatever peoples opinions are on coach Brett Sutton, he has trained some of the best Ironmen to be who they are, Bella included, and her style of coaching is much like his - hard work pays off! She has already changed my swim technique as I swam 'too pretty' in her eyes. I remember reading it in Chrissie Wellingtons' book once regarding when to breathe. She stated, why would you practice breathing every three if in a race you breathe every two? This was the first question Bella asked me and I haven't looked back. I now attack the water and breathe every two. If this is how to become a champion then I'll follow that lead, although I only ever want to be a champion to myself. Another positive (yes they don't stop at the moment) is I am now 5 minutes from Amy Kilpin who made the move to train here since I persuaded her to in November. She has now become the other part to my relationship with Nathan and we are now an 'us' (I don't expect anyone to understand but we all just 'get' on so well it's almost weird but bloody works!).

 I am now on day 3 of Bella's training plan and I am being pushed harder and further than ever but I am loving it and buzzing from the feeling of working hard. As one of my favourite quotes states, "Nothing great is easy". There is SO much more to come and I am not sorry for the positivity of this post but life in Lanzarote is bloody good. It's also my birthday tomorrow so I am looking forward to a nice meal with friends and then Friday is Amy's birthday so we are having a joint night out on the town. I am so excited to share the evening with 30 of the friends I have made out here. I feel like a very lucky girl right now and thank everyone, particularly my parents, for supporting me as they have. I will be coming back to the UK eventually, I made that promise to my sister, but this is my year and I'm going to make it one to remember!