2016 - Rosie's legacy continues

 The year of 2016 has come with a bang! On the first of January as many will know I became a published author...an actual published author. I would never have imagined I would achieve this in my lifetime - let alone by the age of 24! What is even more surprising is that I managed to even finish it as in true Holliestyle I left the majority of the writing until last minute. As my deadline approached I spent most of the days in my pyjama's day after day waiting each night for my rewarding glass of wine which then turned to another...and then another until I really could no longer claim that the wine was 'creative juice'. It is a wonder that any of it legible considering. There is actually a point however in which drinking was actually useful, particularly when I broached the really difficult pages. The chapters I ended up leaving until last because of this were the fateful day in Wales 2013 and my childhood with Rosie. The latter I still feel I can't do justice to. I have so many memories with Rosie and see so many reminders of her daily, it would be impossible to write all of them down. No amount of words will ever be able to express just how much Rosie means to me. However, I hope I touched on her life and the fantastic young woman she grew up to be. For the book, for those who have it, or intend to read it I hope you enjoy.
 I cannot thank anyone who has purchased my book enough, the support means so much and proceeds of the book will go to SUDEP Action, so for that I am truly grateful. If anyone does want to buy one please click here. Furthermore, after some deliberation, part 2 of my Kona blog will not feature on here. So you will have to buy the book to have my Kona race report and my post race feelings about the most important and emotional race of my life. Now that's suspense for you...go on click on that link....PLEASE :) it is going to a good cause and I really appreciate it.

The first official public copy

 I am also now back in the UK. This was a decision Nathan and I made before Kona. It was becoming increasingly evident in Lanzarote that Kona signified the end of my journey as I knew it and my need to stay in Lanzarote diminished. Nathan had intended to stay having only just accepted a job as Head Chef of an exclusive hotel on the island. However, I was expressing my desire to move. Nathan then managed to get a job via Skype for a Head Chef role within Hilton a mere 20 minutes from my parents. This position was a role he could not refuse so in late October, after attending a dear friends funeral, we left to start our life in the UK together, Nathan said goodbye to the island he had lived on for three years and I said goodbye to my second home and an island that had helped me so much. I had a fantastic time in Lanzarote and have met some lifelong friends. Moving there is something I will never regret. I had left an opportunity within my career at Sky News for the move so risked a lot but in the grand scheme of things I needed that break and it was the best decision I have ever made. I can only thank my parents for making such an opportunity possible through their support.

 Nathan and I moved into my parents house back in England and have been there ever since. However, as of next week we are moving into our own house just down the road from all of my family - something I am so excited about. One of my main reasons to return to the UK was because I missed my family. My sister Emma had been desperate for me to come home so that I can not only support her, but her me, with our grief. What some may not understand is that everyday is still a battle, particularly for Emma. Personally, every time I wake up I am reminded that Rosie is not with us and then I have to carry on with the day as a new normal; a life without Rosie. For all of my family it still feels raw despite nearly 2 and a half years since her passing. Of course there are the days when the new norm really doesn't feel acceptable. Life just doesn't seem fair and these are the days when the all consuming grief physically hurts. This said however on the 'good' days I am learning to appreciate what I do have a lot more.

 The other main reason I returned to the UK was to get a career back. My decision to move to Lanzarote was to not work so much or at least get out of the mentality and feeling that I was living to work. So, whilst in Lanzarote I had the privilege of not working. However, I then missed not working. Go figure. Too much of something can make you resent it and I needed to find a balance. Although I had a reason to be there and a goal to achieve in Kona for Rosie I felt like I needed something else. I had worked hard to get within Sky News and I did miss the atmosphere of work. When I moved back I went straight back to Sky News on a freelance basis, picking up shifts here and there. However, I was striving for something more permanent, ideally closer to home and hopefully less, if not no, night shifts. Yes I was asking for a lot within broadcast journalism however my real dream was not necessarily to stay within media despite my passion for it but to move into a career within sports and eventing. I wanted to become involved in the triathlon events I love so much. My real passion having shifted somewhat. The dream was to work for Ironman but I had no event experience. It is a hard market, like media, to crack. I went for about five interviews with other media companies, only one of which ticked all of my ideal boxes. Opposite Nathan's work, good pay, similar role (if not a slightly different idea) to my one at Sky News and no night shifts. After the interview I prayed for nearly two weeks that I would get the call offering me the job. When I got the call saying I hadn't been successful I cried. I was deeply hurt and honestly was lost as to what to do next. My mum tried to reassure me that it was fate and something would come up but it just felt like words of comfort. At my next interview in London I also cried. I felt useless and a failure. After being rejected from the 'perfect' job I resided myself to the fact I would forever have to travel up to London to work within journalism, a 1 hour 30 minute commute (on a good rush hour free day). I also dislike working freelance. I don't like not having a structure and feeling as if I should take a shift, even if it doesn't work with my life, because I don't know how I'll get paid if I don't. So imagine my elation when Ironman contacted me after going for an intern position that there was a full time position and I was being put forward for an interview! After that initial email I had a conference telephone interview the following day at 3pm and by 6pm I had an email saying I had got the job of Athlete Services Manager of Ironman UK. This means I will be working on site at the UK (and some European) races ensuring the athletes are catered for. I am also on hand daily to answer athlete queries and update websites and much more (I am still learning). Even better it is Mon-Fri, 9-5 and is only a 35 minute drive from home! As always, mum knows best. The following Monday (the beginning of this week) I had started work and next week I'll be training interns, the same interns I could have been competing against. Surreal is the only way to describe it and I cannot help but pinch myself. Everything has finally fallen into place.

 After screaming to my mum and dad "I got the job" last week I looked up and said to Rosie thank you. I can't help but reflect. I would not be in this position without Rosie. Our journey in Kona was just the beginning! There is so much more to add to Rosie's legacy yet!