Thank You 2014

 Two months today I made a life changing decision. I quit my senior position within Sky News and got on a one way plane to Lanzarote. I am now sitting back on a plane on a flight to the UK. This is not me saying I am coming back for good, far from it. In fact I am using this 4 hour flight as a time to reflect. This has made me realise that although I am getting settled from being away from 'home' my real journey is only just beginning. I am merely back for the Christmas and New Year period to see the family and friends I have missed so much over the last couple of months. 

 Leaving the UK has been the best decision I have ever made and somewhat out of character too. I would love to think myself as spontaneous however I do like my home comforts. A beautiful cottage in a village in the English countryside, much like where I grew up, was my ideal life and home. This being far from the lifestyle Lanzarote offers. However, there was a passion and a dream within triathlon far bigger than that life that I had to pursue before my opportunity passed. 'YOLO' (you only live once) being a statement that tragically rings so true through my experience of losing Rosie. I go through life now making decisions on the basis of, "would I regret having not done it later down the line?". My decision to move was one of those moments. I felt at the time I was merely existing in my job and life - far from the idyllic lifestyle I had envisioned. My life now doesn't see me having a 2 bed cottage on the Thames and in driving distance of my loved ones. However,  it does see me living very modestly but very very happy with the simplicity of enjoying like minded peoples' company and taking in some beautiful picture postcard scenery daily. It's safe to say that after the worst year of my life I have found happiness and contentment again and I owe that to Lanzarote. It made me challenge myself and get my fire back. 

Me in the middle of the Tri Yaiza men - can you see why I love their kit?

A friendly ride with Nathan and Bart 

 There is not a single day I do not think of Rosie. She is my driving force, my motivation and my inspiration. If a training run hurts I dig deep and push on harder thinking of her. When my legs scream going up Tabeysco, Rose is there. On a dark starry night, she is who I look for. Rose is with me on every step I take on this journey, wherever it takes me. My recent article in Triathlon Plus explains this.

Triathlon Plus photoshoot

Triathlon Plus photoshoot

 As 2014 comes to a close I also have to reflect on how far I have come in my triathlon journey. I really was not a naturally gifted athlete as a child. Put me amongst all of my school and I assure you I would be one of the last suggested students to have done what I have. But...I have now completed three Ironman's, qualified for Kona in the process and represented my country at the age of 23. Yes I am not a stick thin athlete, never would I want to be. I am not aiming to be pro, my involvement in triathlon is to better myself and to enjoy the ride. I enjoy too many things (wine and cheese mainly) to become a professional. Triathlon gave me a focus when life seemed too unfair. Sport in general is its own form of antidepressant and I would love to help others feel the support I have had.

 I love Lanzarote and owe it so much, however I have found in a short space of time it is a very small island and the community I have become involved in is very small and already tight knit before I rocked up. I have had some criticism for my 'unathletic' appearance (basically not a generic triathlon pin) and chose to look at my training and life in and outside of triathlon but I have learnt to realise that that is their problem and not mine. I want a balance in life and I want to enjoy it. I never got into Tri to be a world class athlete. Maybe it is jealousy as some say because I qualified for Kona but whatever the bitterness is I know I deserve my slot so my advice is stop analysing my achievements and focus on your own. Yes, I didnt have to get a record breaking time in order to get there but that's because I did it whilst I was young when the competition isn't so great. I had the mental strength to do it when I did. So, what's your excuse? Negativity gets people nowhere and if the size of my wine and cheese filled arse is a problem then remark all you like and watch it go to Kona! 

 So 2014 you have been great. I achieved the impossible dream and am now a Kona qualifying athlete. I am not going to lie and say this Christmas is going to be plain sailing and happy. My family have a huge hole missing in Rosie and considering this will be the first Christmas we are all together without her it is going to be tough. We will have laughs however and I know she will be with us in our hearts and thoughts throughout the day, we just need to remember that. Another hole we are going to feel is the lack of my late nan, Joyce. One of the most influential women in my life will be missing for the first Christmas. My fondest memory as a child was Joy turning up with another huge sackful of presents (I'm sure Rosie and I's first bras were in that sack which caused fits of laughter). Nothing will replace our loss but we can only hope they are looking down in pride with a glass in hand. I also know mine is not the only family to feel loss this time of year and my thoughts go to everyone who will feel the loss of a loved one.

Merry Christmas all and a Happy New Year. 2015; I'm ready to see where I'm taken next!