My new beginning; the move to Lanzarote

 So I have some catching up to do...in fact I have about 5 weeks worth of the most exciting chapter of my life to fill you in on. There is no excuse for not writing it sooner except that I was too busy living it than writing it. So now I am going to try and do the past 5 weeks at justice, although this may be a hard task...

Goodbye from me

 With my disappoint at the European Middle Distance Championships over it was time to face my next adventure; moving to Lanzarote. For those that don't know I had made the decision to do this in July after spending an amazing week meeting some inspirational people and quite literally falling in love with the island. I felt at home in Lanzarote and by the end of the week of deliberation I decided to make the move in the coming months. I handed my months notice in at Sky News on the 21st September and would be getting on a one way flight to Lanzarote on the 23rd October. This date was just a mere 3 days after landing back in the UK from Mallorca where I competed for GB and in true Hollie style I had not packed a thing. I also then had 2 days of work and my leaving party followed by my nan's funeral so it was a full on few days.
 Saying goodbye to some of my best friends at my leaving do was hard but we all knew it wasn't forever and after all I am only 4 hours away. Leaving Sky News for the last time was a very surreal experience. It was after all my first 'proper' job after leaving University. I worked hard to get there and worked hard whilst there in order to get to the Senior position in which I did. I still occasionally have to slap myself to actually believe I quit and sometimes think was I stupid to do so? Media is one of the hardest jobs to get into especially when young and straight from university these days - some would kill for my job and I had just given it up to cycle around volcanoes - really? However, it did not take long to realise when cycling the said volcanoes that I had made the best decision of my life.

 However, saying goodbye to my nan at her funeral was the hardest thing I had to do in those 3 days leading up to my departure from the UK. I mentioned in my previous blog how much my nan means to me, she along with Rosie are some of the most influential women in my life and I had now lost both. To this day I cannot believe she has gone, probably because of the rapid deterioration of such a strong woman and because so much happened all at once it felt like a dream (and in this case a bad one). I, along with my sister and cousins, said something at her funeral. Me being seen as the strongest one went last. I decided to read a poem I had once read at a memorial for Rosie. I don't know whether it was the previous emotions or the strength of the words but I broke down after the first sentence. It took so much to even finish through broken speech. It was as expected a tough day and one I really wish I wasn't experiencing. I still don't have the words to express the pain I feel about losing my beautiful Joyce but I'll finish this topic on the poem I read in church;

"Feel no guilt in laughter, she'd know how much you care.
Feel no sorrow in a smile that she is not here to share.
You cannot grieve forever; she would not want you to.

She'd hope that you could carry on the way you always do.
So, talk about the good times and the way you showed you cared,
The days you spent together, all the happiness you shared.
Let memories surround you, a word someone may say
Will suddenly recapture a time, an hour, a day,
That brings her back as clearly as though she were still here,
And fills you with the feeling that she is always near.
For if you keep those moments, you will never be apart
And she will live forever locked safely within your heart"

My adult size trunkie (my pink bike box)

 After the funeral it was back home to pack, I had to leave to catch my flight at 3.30am. I had thankfully already packed my bike box with my road bike and thrown all of my training kit in there too. (For those who have asked the pink Planet X was sponsored and decided to end the sponsorship and buy a TT bike myself which will be arriving in February). Aside from training kit I took one bag in the hold and considering I was flying Easyjet had to be careful on how much I took. I knew I didn't need that much but saying that to a woman is just silly. However, I managed to pack quicker and more efficiently than I had expected and my bags were by the door waiting to go by the evening. I was traveling to Lanzarote with my Dad - he was going to settle me in and check the boys I were living with got the OK (as any Dad would do with his little girl). I was exhausted so decided to get some sleep while my Dad stayed awake until it was time to leave. At 3am the alarm went off and much like an excited child waiting to get on an early flight to Disneyland I was up almost immediately.
 My bike box was a cool 34kg so I had to take some stuff out but after that faff was sorted I was on my way to Lanzarote. Whilst sat on the plane I couldn't help get emotional whilst reflecting all I had been through to get me to that moment. There is no doubt in my mind I would not be sat on that plane if Rosie was still with us. The journey I have come on since losing Rosie last September is one that I believe Rose has taken me on. I would do anything to have her back, to this day I still cannot phantom never hearing her voice again, I miss her as much as I did the day we lost her. There is so much I want to tell her and ask her. When I struggle emotionally she is always the one I want to message. However, I also want to thank her for taking me on this adventure to pursue what has become my passion in life; triathlon. The lifestyle I was living this time last year is a world away from the one I am experiencing now. It was a lifestyle I believed I wanted, a media job in London with a cottage by the Thames to come home to, however what I really want to do is live my life doing what I truly love. I am sure so many others can get caught up in what 'seems' important. I want to better myself in triathlon as well as help others experience the simple pleasure of cycling and the camaraderie within triathlon. Without sounding too dramatic, triathlon, in particular Ironman, has saved me. It has saved me from a mediocre life of existence always thinking what if? and I believe it has taken me away from a spiral of depression that I began to experience when struggling with the loss of Rosie in the UK. The past few weeks since moving out to Lanzarote have been amazing. Saying goodbye to my dad at the airport was a pretty surreal experience and did shed a few tears whist waving goodbye. I had the compulsory moving in period where I drank a fair bit and also competed in Ocean Lava on the 1st of November which saw me finish 7th woman overall out of 41 (3rd off the bike!) and first in my age group. That race was my welcome to Lanzarote and saw me fall in love with cycling and competing all over again after my poor efforts 3 weeks before in Mallorca.

Ocean Lava podium

Champion

I knew within the first 2 weeks of me moving I had made the best decision of my life. The people here are wonderful and so welcoming - I have made some true friends for life out here and I cannot thank them enough. On that note I suppose I better introduce Nathan, my new other half (I would say better half but lets not make his ego get any bigger! ha). He has been absolutely amazing introducing me to the island and all of his friends that he has made out here. Being a chef and training for his first Ironman in Lanzarote in May it means I never have to cook and we have a common interest and determination to complete to our best ability together. Therefore we are helping each other along our Ironman journeys together, training is also not quite so lonely. I did say once I would never go out with a triathlete as I am too competitive but as long as we both remember we are only competing against ourselves we shall have no problems (although of course trying to beat him on our bike rides is only in my nature). He is so supportive of what I am aiming to achieve and I can't really ask for anymore.

Me and Nathan

 However, I'm not saying moving away has been completely pain free and easy. I do get moments when I miss the life I had in the UK. I miss being able to see my friends in London after work to chat if something is bothering me. I miss seeing my parents. I miss seeing my siblings and watching my nieces and nephews grow up. I also miss my pug Larry. However, this is a journey for me and it is something I want to throw myself into and give a good chance. I can see myself here indefinitely, I have plans I want to build on. I have a life I want to grow.

 Before I get too soppy I'm going to say over and out. My new chapter and journey is only just beginning. I have found myself again, or a new version of it as I have changed and grown since losing Rosie - many do after a tragedy. For the first time since that fateful day last September I feel truly happy and content. There is not a day that goes past I don't think about Rose or miss her, everyday there is something that reminds me of a memory we have together, but I am living my dream and pursuing a life I hope she is proud of. She influences everything I have done and will continue to do so. She will always remain my inspiration in life and in triathlon. Thank you Rosie, you are safely locked forever in my heart. 

El Golfo - a place that I sat and reflected with Nathan and looked toward my future plans - it was this lunch that I realised I was happy and content for the first time since losing Rosie