Who ever said it was sensible?

  Since the half Ironman I already mentioned I did a swim time trial on the Thursday afterwards. I wrapped my broken finger up as best I could and tackled the half Ironman distance, 1.2miles (80 lengths), again. Although I felt like I was swimming in lead and had to spend some extra time making sure I didn't whack my finger when turning (which I still did many times) I finished in 35minutes. It wasn't a PB which was 34minutes, but definitely not bad considering. Although I didn't find it easy as usual I was sticking to a comfortable and maintainable pace for how I was feeling. This again outlined my poor performance in Wimbleball. When competing I should easily have been below 35minutes, not three minutes above it!

  I was still feeling pretty down about the DNF result but was happy to see some familiar faces at the Tri club. It cheered me up to have people reassure me that its not the end of the world and 'shit happens'.

  From that swim to now I cannot actually remember what has happened in great detail. Extra work shifts and training has kept me busy which has made the time fly. It is only now I am on a night shift that I have had some time to chill out! I have been keping up all three disciplines of a triathlon. Most notably I went on an exploration run with Dan. Although Dan has been brought up in Buckinghamshire and knows many cross country routes there is always more to see. I however know nothing about this area so it was a good way for me to find some new run routes. Our runs never really go well as his pace is faster than mine and when out doing a run I want to go at my own consistent speed. I also didn't want a personal training session. Immediately Dan was faster and I didn't even try to play catch up as I did not want a burn out. I continued to push Dan to go infront despite him trying to get me to lead (he hoped it would push me faster). After a mile he had said that I should pick the pace up as my run needs to get faster and so began the personal trainer speel. I responded by saying that 'the pace I run at is my maintainable speed over a long period of time and distance so why change it? I'm not going to get faster by burning out. When I'm ready to up the pace naturally I will do so'. Also, consistently keeping at 6-7mph is also not too bloody awful so instead of making me feel rubbish just go with it. I felt some sense of pride though as I have completed a marathon but Dan hasn't and if he could keep his pace up non-stop over 26miles then he should have got into them a long time ago. Despite all this the run was enjoyable although very hot. When running up a hill in the scorching heat I said that I was quite glad I wasn't doing Ironman Austria as it is bloody hard work in the heat! I'll probably get the complete opposite weather in Wales!  

  A major and exciting thing that has happened during this time was getting a new bike. This, although an expensive upgrade, was one I considered vital for the upcoming Ironman Wales. I know that you cannot always blame your tools, but I was getting increasingly worried by the level of my bike in comparison to the level of such a demanding event and course. After the mechanical brake fault (and my second crash) on Sora I dashed any thoughts of being able to 'just get round' on that bike and knew it was time for an upgrade. She had served me well, competing in over 10 triathlons and duathlons and had been through many training miles. At only £500 that is not too shabby. I even regularly got compliments on the look of her. Despite her faults she will not be wasted, she is just being relegated off the road. My trusty first road bike will now become my torture machine - she will become permanently fixed onto my turbo trainer. This was something I have always wanted to do. So rather than faffing about fixing and changing the rear tyre to fit onto the trainer I have a permanent exercise machine come rain or shine. This is particularly useful when working nights or late on weekends as it means I can always do a tough session of varying length without having to sacrifice the quality. The spare room is now my torture chamber.

  So,  without boring some of you I have upgraded to a female specific Giant carbon fibre frame road bike with a huge cassette to get me up the Welsh hills and a Shimano 105 groupset. I had ideally wanted an Ultegra groupset, but the frame was the more important factor, and in all honestly the 105's are leaps and bounds away from my bottom of the range gears. I also upgraded the wheels on the bike to Mavic Ksyrium SLS. These are subtly sexy wheels! The white spokes being my favourite thing.

 The bike is nothing like the outrageous colour scheme I would normally lend myself to but the matt black frame and white finishes make it a subtly beautiful bike. As with all owned and drivable assets she needed a name and in keeping with the name of my car 'white beauty' the bike has followed suit with 'black beauty' and she certainly is that.

The photo still does not do her justice

  Since the four days I have had her I have clocked up 60miles (over half way there to the Ironman distance). I have been lucky enough that when my broken finger is strapped up and the splint is on I am not really limited when handling the bike. My middle and forefinger are able to brake effectively.

  The biggest advantage I have found about getting a woman specific road bike is the size of the frame. I have since found out I have been cycling a frame size too big for 3+ years. With this in mind I was having my seat post far too low. I lacked confidence in making the post higher as I feared I would not be able to put my foot down quick enough if need be. Since having my new bike I am in a much higher position which is having an instant positive on my riding efficiency. After my first 10mile ride my thighs were burning, a sensation I had never felt when on my old bike. By riding higher up I am using the biggest muscle in the leg more - my quads. With this I will only get stronger. Moreover, there are other advantages to getting a woman's frame. Due to womens torso's being naturally smaller than mens' the distance between the saddle and the bars are shorter. Another difference is that the width of the handlebars are smaller which means that I'm not resting unnaturally wide as men do with naturally broader shoulders. However, I think my most exciting discovery, and probably the most minor one, is that the bars are actually thinner. I always struggled with an excruciating aching pain during on long rides in the L between my thumbs and forefingers. This type of pain is something I did not need during an Ironman, and now I do not have to fear about such a minor but ultimately painful sensation affecting my comfortably.

  The major thing I am getting used to at the moment is the lightness of the bike. My entry-level Specialised Allez is an aluminium frame which is sturdy, heavy and less responsive to my actions. This is in sharp contrast to a carbon fibre frame which responds to anything and very quickly. (I can also lift it with one finger). Moreover, if it is a windy day then it will be a shaky ride and this is something I am having to adapt and get used to.

  Overall, if you are a woman and want to invest in a bike, invest in a woman specific frame. I was sceptical, as many are, but you won't regret it. The only negative is due to being specifically for women there isn't as many colours to chose from, but at least this makes deciding easier!

  As I mentioned earlier I am back on night shifts which does pose some questions as to how I fit my training in around them, especially as I am doing overtime shifts as well.  I had secretly began to really worry about this, brewing up my fears inside. Not telling Dan fearing he would give me his condescending look of "I told you it would be hard" and not telling my parents for the fear of them thinking I wouldn't be able to complete. When I detailed all my extra hours to my mum and dad they immediately queried where my training hours where going to fit in. I could only reassure them I will find the hours, I have to. Despite my dad reiterating that it doesn't matter if I don't finish, failure is not an option this time. I am putting an unbelievable amount of pressure on myself so much so I live and dream Ironman. I cannot wait for it, the excitement inside is uncontrollable. However, on the other hand I fear it. I am anxious, nervous, even scared of not completing.  I have had nightmares of the same thing happening again, missing the bike cut off time. The bike is my main priority, the run is something I need to continue practising, but to me it is a means to an end. If I get to the run I will not not complete. I had a slightly heated discussion with mum about how I was playing down the importance of the run. I do not believe this to be the case as I run at least 4 times a week, even more when on day shifts as I do so in my lunch breaks. However, right now the bike is my focus. I need to build up that discipline first so I have the confidence in my own fitness and technical ability. With this emphasis on building my endurance capabilities my weight will fall and that will aid my running more than anything. My mindset is that without completing the bike there is no run.

  So despite the next 2 weeks being tough training wise as I am back to nights it also gives me time to focus almost solely on my bike. I want to build my bike mileage, get comfortable with my new bike and riding style as well as target and increase the necessary muscles required for a more efficient and stronger cycle. Apart from an open water swim next Monday, which I will cycle to, I am not even considering adding swimming in the next 2 weeks as without sounding arrogant that discipline is not my concern. I know I can complete the distance in ample time already. 

  My training for this week unsurprisingly involves 2hr+ cycle rides and tough sessions on the turbo trainer in between waking up and leaving for work (this is around 4hours). 

  On Monday before my first night shift I did a brick session involving a 30mile bike ride followed by a 4mile run before having a preparation nap. (I managed the bike ride in 1h37 - approx. 18mph). On Tuesday I did a sprint/boot camp style run session. This was a real eye opener to me as I used to be at the top of my game during sessions like these but I struggled today. It showed to me pretty clearly the different style of training I had been doing in comparison to over a year ago and sadly showed me if you don't use it you lose it. It made me feel so unfit but I had to remind myself that although I may have been able to do 25 full press-ups back then I probably wouldn't have been able to consistently run a marathon or cycle half the hills in Exmoor. I still vowed to work on that type of training as it ultimately all helps one another.
  With the added pressure and motivation of a marathon in a months time I decided to go on a run today (Wednesday). I planned to explore the woods and surrounding areas again. I started off in the direction Dan and I had gone the other day and decided to run for 30minutes and then make my way back. After getting stuck in field upon field I had run an hour before I reached point at which I could turn and go back on myself. Instead of going back the way I came I tried to make it a loop so I went the way my instinct told me to go through more fields and woods. I got it fractions out with turned out to be a nightmare. I had to leave for work at 6pm and I was lost, recognising nothing but horses and grass at 5.30pm. I had been running now for over 2 hours in the heat with no water or energy gels. I was getting frustrated and my energy was low. I was gasping for a drink. I called my boss explaining I was in the middle of nowhere and as soon as I'm home I'll be on my way. Probably the oddest reason for being late to work ever! I stuck to the roads until I recognised the cross country route I had began on. After 2h30 I finally got home and had covered 15miles. Although I hadn't planned the length of my run I did enjoy exploring cross country. It was only when I was desperate to get back that my tolerance and energy levels fell.
  Despite getting lost I am looking forward though to having a completely free day where I can go off for hours and do it again without having to worry about getting back. I have scheduled this in for Tuesday. All I need to do is find the furthest point again as from there I found another woods I want to explore. Dan said that he'll need to get me a tag for my next adventure.

  As a further push for some confidence building, motivation and training I have signed myself up for some events. I have not gone mad so that I limit myself but have just put a few dates in the diary. I mentioned previously I had a marathon in a months time. This is a trial run marathon in and around Salisbury. Despite already doing a marathon this year and many training magazines stating that it is not essential to compete in another if already having done so, it is more of a reassurance training event for myself. I need to know that I can do the distance with ease especially with hills involved. The next I have booked is on the 26th August where I am doing an Aquathlon (swim and run). I am actually doing the swim distance twice as I am doing it as part of a relay with Dan then I'll do the whole event alone. The distance is 800m swim - 10k run. When I tried to do the application online an error came up saying 'you cannot sensibly enter the same event twice on the same day'. My immediate thought was who ever said it was a sensible idea? An Ironman isn't sensible yet thousands throw themselves into the worldwide events every year.  Anyway, with some events lined up and a trip to Tenby with my dad for some cycle training in August booked I feel ready and more determined than ever.